“Your daughter needs to shed 10 kg before I can find a suitable match for her,” the matchmaker told the lady who had sent her daughter’s profile. “Overweight girls find it difficult to find good proposals, so please ask your daughter to lose some weight.” With that, the call was disconnected.
Excess weight can be a huge stumbling block, especially when the match is arranged. Plus-sized women have it much harder in the marriage market and find it difficult to get hitched in the traditional way. The term “fashionably slim” is a misnomer for a number of reasons. Admittedly, a slim figure is every woman’s dream, and those who are fortunate enough to have it are the object of everyone’s envy. Being thin appears to be a great accomplishment, and your size is one of the factors determining your worth in the marriage market, among other things, at least as far as the fairer sex goes.
Plus-sized or generously proportioned women are often victimised or targeted from a very early age and ridiculed for their size. The latest trolling of Aishwarya Rai over her generous proportions on display at Paris Fashion Week proves that celebrities have to bear the brunt of it too. In fact, it is a hundred times worse for them, as people consider it their God-given right to pass personal comments on each and everything about them.
Online trolling has become really vicious and terribly invasive, as it is becoming increasingly acceptable to subject individuals in the public eye to intense scrutiny. In fact, quite a few people make a living out of it, and their sole claim to fame is trolling celebrities. This is definitely not one of the perks of fame, and with the advent of social media, online platforms are under intense pressure to make issues out of non-issues to ensure that online traffic is generated. Sensation, gossip and negativity always sell and always will, as some people derive sadistic pleasure from ridiculing and belittling others.
Call it envy or jealousy, but generally, these individuals who derive some sort of perverse pleasure from online trolling are non-entities themselves and believe that stooping to new lows might just prove to be their ticket to fame. Katrina Kaif was recently brutally trolled for her plus-sized figure as well, despite the fact that she had recently become a mother and postpartum weight takes some time to shed. Expecting women to magically shrink to their pre-pregnancy size after giving birth is extremely unfair and unrealistic, and imposes an inordinate amount of pressure on new mothers.
The beauty industry thrives on keeping people permanently discontented and dissatisfied with the way they look by encouraging them to aspire to unrealistic and unattainable beauty and fitness standards.
The majority of women are judged by how slim and attractive they are and, generally, fair skin and big eyes are synonymous with beauty in South Asia. The pressure to be a certain size, especially if you happen to be in the marriage market, means that a number of women start suffering from complexes. Young women in their late teens or early twenties are extremely impressionable and vulnerable, and the beauty industry often targets them by preying on their vulnerabilities, as it thrives on keeping the fairer sex permanently dissatisfied with their appearance and size.
You’re either too tall, too short, too dark, too chubby or too thin; in short, something always needs fixing. Who sets these unrealistic beauty standards? The beauty industry, of course. If women became content with the shape they were in or became comfortable in their own skin, that would sound the death knell for an industry that thrives on keeping people permanently discontented and dissatisfied with the way they look by encouraging them to aspire to unrealistic and unattainable beauty and fitness standards.
Cosmetic surgery has become extremely common in our part of the world too, as people spend a small fortune to acquire the perfect nose, lips, eyes or skin, or consume weight-loss drugs to lose a significant amount of weight in a short period of time, without considering the impact on their physical and mental well-being. How can a smaller waist, a flatter belly or narrower hips ensure happiness or success in the long term? If you argue from a medical point of view, a balanced diet and regular exercise have been proven to enhance the quality of life and are considered essential for your mental, psychological and emotional well-being, but there is no one-size-fits-all approach.
Taking drastic measures to alter your body type or resorting to invasive cosmetic procedures in order to look the way you have been conditioned to believe is beautiful and, therefore, desirable is an exercise in futility. Beauty standards will keep changing; in the Arab world, curvier women are preferred, as they believe in wearing their wealth on their bodies.
Beauty standards and ideals keep changing because, of course, that is the only way for an industry to stay relevant and lucrative. Chasing beauty standards is like chasing a mirage in a desert. Illusions tease, tempt and entice you but prove to be elusive, fleeting and ephemeral, and are always just out of reach.
Be comfortable in your own skin and do not let other people dictate or influence your choices in life. As the saying goes, beauty is skin deep and does not last. While it is important to look presentable and be physically and mentally fit, going about it the right way will always be preferable to blindly following fads. Unfortunately, there are no shortcuts in life, and those who try to convince you otherwise are clearly trying to mislead you or are out to make a quick buck. Fashionably slim or not, be fashionably polite, kind, caring and compassionate, for unlike beauty, kindness never fades or goes out of fashion.