Much has been written about the problematic mother-son relationship in the hit serial Dar-e-Nijaat, which is, to put it bluntly, a bit too perfect to be true and definitely reeks of oedipal tendencies. Although the production is setting the TRPs on fire and it is the most talked-about serial on air nowadays, some things about it are seriously amiss.
The writer mentioned in a previous article how trauma had been romanticised in this production and rather than consulting a therapist, the female protagonist is married off to someone else when she is clearly not in a fit state to shoulder the responsibility of marriage. Abu Bakar, the perfect son, is the lamb to the slaughter and agrees to marry Zaryab, despite her problematic past.
Dynamics of a Rebound
Why, you may ask? Because he just cannot say no to his mother, who is compelled by Zaryab’s grandmother to marry her son off to her granddaughter. The granddaughter has been in a live-in relationship with the other male protagonist making up the triangle and, when he dumps her, agrees to marry Abu Bakar on the rebound.
What exactly is being portrayed? In an effort to highlight that women get the shorter end of the stick in a live-in relationship and somehow can never live it down, the writer has taken things a bit too far. Even before she was dumped by her boyfriend, Zaryab was portrayed as an insolent, ill-mannered, and headstrong young woman, or as her elder sister’s husband says, all three sisters are arrogant, stubborn, and full of themselves; largely due to poor parenting.
Just as women should not bear the burden of fixing broken men, husbands should not be used as rehabilitation centres for psychologically disturbed wives
Even Zaryab’s boyfriend, Zamil, takes umbrage at his sister being compared to hers when the topic of her elder sister’s marriage being on the rocks comes up. Sometimes, the writer believes that the two richly deserve each other and are like two peas in a pod; both are childish, immature, and terribly messed up, and seem to be living in their own little ivory towers. If they had married each other, the marriage would definitely not have lasted, because Zamil is not Abu Bakar, who is ready to put up with all her tantrums and outbursts; in fact, he appears to have saintly patience, which is rare in a man.
Obedience, Patience, and Fiction
Why is his obedience and patience being taken unfair advantage of? All the messages being exchanged on the day of Zaryab’s nikah, where even till the last minute she is ready to dump Abu Bakar and marry Zamil if he agrees, are ludicrous. Any other self-respecting individual would never have gone through with it after everything that happened. That is where the mother-son relationship is terribly problematic; he appears to worship his mother and blindly does everything she tells him to, but is that what being a perfect son is all about?
The impression being given of the perfect son is terribly misleading; Abu Bakar’s mother’s character is also extremely problematic. Why should her past be used as an excuse by Zaryab’s grandmother to dump her ill-mannered, spoilt, and insolent granddaughter onto her only son? After all, marriage is a life-changing decision, and the kind of individual you marry is one of the singular most important decisions that a person will ever take in life. If Zaryab had any redeeming qualities and was truly repentant, maybe the writer would have cut her some slack, but she is portrayed as an entitled, spoilt brat who has been given everything on a plate all her life, and just because her boyfriend has gone and married someone else (possibly one of the wisest decisions he took), she now feels that the world owes her something and so she can make her in-laws’ life hell, after making her parents’ and boyfriend’s life miserable. The only sensible person in Zaryab’s house appears to be the youngest sister, who is often seen counselling and advising her, not that it makes much difference!
Do people like Abu Bakar and his mother exist? Only in Umera Ahmad’s novels, it appears. There is a disadvantage of being overly nice, and that is that people take you for a ride and exploit you; after all, if Zaryab’s face, figure, youth, and beauty along with the millions in her father’s bank account were taken away, nobody would give her a second look, and she would not be allowed to get away with everything that she did!
Agreed, some of the messages being given are laudable, but men are not rehabilitation centres for badly raised women. The lady should be taken for therapy, and her parents should seek professional help, rather than bundling her off with somebody who suffers from low self-esteem and has zero self-respect.
All three protagonists are fighting their own battles and have their own demons to contend with, but things should still be kept in perspective! This production definitely is raising a lot of questions about the way the characters have been developed and portrayed; the mother-son relationship being one of them! Will these characters be given the closure they need and so desperately crave? Tune in to ARY every Friday and Saturday at 8 pm to find out!