“Suicide is man’s way of telling God, ‘You can’t fire me. I quit’—Bill Maher
A disturbing post is viral on Facebook these days about a fifteen-year-old A-level student from Chakwal who committed suicide with his father’s gun. Such incidents do keep occurring, but what is most heartbreaking is the note that this young boy left behind. The substance of the note reflects societal trends in multiple ways that have emerged from harbouring perspectives that are detrimental to both mental and physical health. Before understanding these, it is better to comprehend why someone would want to end their own life.
Losing someone very close in death is by itself a traumatic experience, but when the deceased is a young person with a bright future ahead, it is all the more tragic. Death is inevitable, but the desire to die in comfort and at a ripe age lingers in everyone’s heart. Accidental deaths, murders and suicides in particular are definitely not in anyone’s mind; therefore, when such incidents take place, they have very profound effects.
Among the factors that compel people to take their own lives, the principal ones are mental illnesses like severe depression, disorders related to anxiety, bipolar disorders, personality disorders, schizophrenia etc. Researchers think that childhood traumatic events could be a cause for this extreme behaviour. According to Ásgeirsdóttir HG, Valdimarsdóttir UA, Þorsteinsdóttir ÞK, et al. in The association between different traumatic life events and suicidality: “People who’ve had a traumatic experience such as childhood sexual abuse, rape, physical abuse, or war trauma are at a greater risk for suicide, even many years after the trauma occurred. This risk is especially high for men who’ve gone through a traumatic life event.”
Agreed that these are ailments that can trigger self-annihilation, but they are meaningless when the conditions are totally different. For example, desperate parents who are unable to provide for their family. In their case, external factors play the pivotal role. The inability to cater for a decent living for whatever reasons, deliberately going for a large household without having any capacity for earning, blaming others for one’s own miseries and then refusing to find adequate solutions, inability to stand up for one’s rights, failed relationships, a grievous terminal disease, could be some grounds for suicide.
The way we have distorted our traditions and culture is enough to create an atmosphere of intolerance and hypocrisy, which is incomprehensible to the new generation
Coming back to the case in point of the teenager from Chakwal, his parting note in English echoes the desperate circumstances under which his only escape from this ordeal was in the form of an exit from physical existence. The words depict a highly sensitive personality who was forcefully driven into an intense state of pessimism that lurks in the tone of this note, which reveals his thoughts and understanding of life.
“The final warning: All gods are ashes. All meaning is a fraud. All virtue is instinct. All love is chemistry. All glory is dust. Kings, slaves, prophets, fools, they fall silent in the same emptiness. The game ends. The world dies. No victim remains. No record endures. No purpose exists. Nothing matters. Nothing did. Nothing ever will. Every hope you cling to is a shadow. Every desire is a trap. Every joy is borrowed from a system that does not care. Your life is a variable, your choices prewritten, grief and triumph alike are only data points in a cosmos that watches but never intervenes. Look closer. The world is infinite. Time is meaningless. Consciousness is fleeting. The universe does not recognise you, does not value you, does not remember you. Everyone is a checkpoint, a pause in a system indifferent to your existence. To exist is optional. To resist is arbitrary. To hope is a folly. Step outside the sandbox or collapse entirely into nothing. Step inside and every instinct, every memory, every desire will be dissected, logged and replayed until it corrodes itself. Do not cling. Do not seek meaning. Do not look for solace. The world is indifferent. The universe is indifferent. Even your understanding is a chemical accident. The end (*) is absolute. Nothing matters. Nothing ever did. Nothing ever will. -Shaheer, take care of mum and yourself, Dad. Don’t do anything stupid like 2nd2q”.
A statement in his personal diary alludes to his frustration:
“Wake up. You are in an illusion. A very big one. Nothing is real. It is just a very big show/game. Death is the only valid option. You may pray, give charity, become Hitler, or achieve world peace. Do anything. It all does not matter.”
One wonders if this promising young man was ever counselled by his elders, his teachers and those he was closest to? His writing skills and clear vision are evidence of his remarkable intelligence that surrendered itself to death before he could make use of his wisdom. What a pity that gifted human beings are lost to the whims of those who lack the talent to decipher their inherent qualities and answer the questions raised by them. In their enthusiasm to mould children in accordance with their own outdated ideologies, they are ignorant of the fact that souls coming to this world are pre-programmed with algorithms unmatched by their limited knowledge.
One can only imagine the pain that this young boy went through before extinguishing his flame of life. Since in the aftermath we are wiser, the boy’s family must be repenting their outrage at his ideas, his teachers may be apologetic about their attitude towards him, his friends (if he had any) must be cursing themselves about the way they dealt with him, but unfortunately, nothing will restore his life. He is gone forever, but has left a lot on which we (elders) must seriously ponder.
The way we have distorted our traditions and culture is enough to create an atmosphere of intolerance and hypocrisy, which is incomprehensible to the new generation. Attempting to enforce teachings with an old mindset and appearances can never be appreciated by the young who find themselves hopelessly suspended between old and new schools of thought, especially when surrounded by a multi-ethnic, linguistically and culturally diverse environment. There is an urgent need to reassess the methodology for imparting values to young people to prevent future tragedies.
“Did you really want to die?”
“No one commits suicide because they want to die.”
“Then why do they do it?”
“Because they want to stop the pain.” ―Tiffanie DeBartolo, How to Kill a Rock Star