“A friend is a gift you give yourself”—Robert Louis Stevenson
The United Nations Special Rapporteur on torture has concluded that solitary confinement beyond 15 days constitutes inhuman punishment. It is so torturous to be alone that to overcome this situation, the importance of other beings cannot be disregarded. Gary Chapman writes: “Something in our nature cries out to be loved by another. Isolation is devastating to the human psyche. That is why solitary confinement is considered the cruellest of punishments”. This is the reason that people live in colonies and reach out to one another for comfort and togetherness.
Relatives are naturally formed groups of individuals, but friends are chosen. While one can bank upon the permanence and comfort of blood relations, there is no denying that joy can be experienced when among those whose only motive is to enjoy your company.
Of all the relations, friendship is perhaps the best and most unique, as it transcends all artificial boundaries and gives both pleasure and hope for a lasting association. Even though it takes time and effort to nurture this connection, once established, there is no end to the happiness that sprouts as a result. In the words of Aristotle: “Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow ripening fruit.”
People who are closest in proximity are parents, but the relationship with them is hardly on equal footing due to their dominating stature. With brothers and sisters, the association is more like a duty of care. Although problems could be shared with them, those solutions are more obligatory rather than mere suggestions. Again, this familial connection is bound to differ from family to family because of various socio-economic and cultural factors.
Birds of a feather flock together, so at every stage in our lives, we seek the friendship of our peers. Children relish the company of other children as it is easier for them to share the exuberant vitality that is the hallmark of childhood. Likewise, teenagers prefer moving in the circle of other teenagers, sharing the pangs of adolescence, which adults hardly ever seem to comprehend, and the same goes for mature men and women, for whom it is difficult to understand the outbursts of youngsters.
Friendship is that compound which transforms two individuals into a newer and better form if it is accompanied by care, love and positivity
As children mature, they are attracted to their peers because of common interests, which culminate in a social circle we refer to as friends. In most instances, connections are easily established, and soon it is discovered how superbly communication takes place between them. Having a friend is one of the most cherished feelings in a living being’s life. Even animals are known to befriend both humans and other animals. Those who keep pets know how helpful they are in cheering up forlorn moments, plants thrive when people treat them well, and friends brighten up gloomy times with their energy.
Among friends, there is further division between ordinary friends and best friends forever, popularly called BFF. This means that there is a certain group with which one can have get-togethers, fun, or, as in modern parlance, with whom one can ‘chill’ and wear off the sultry hours. During these periods of interaction, the atmosphere is usually quite superficial, as whiling away the time does not necessarily mean serious emotional discourses. Rather, indulgence in activities of mutual interest and pleasure is the prime objective of such gatherings.
The more intimate group comprises best friends. Why? The reasons could be many. The first and foremost is the feeling of comfort in their company. The fact that friends take you as you are and are seldom judgmental.
They will patiently and smilingly listen to your blabber, no matter how irrational. They will promptly respond to your need, be full of encouragement during critical times, be a source of inspiration when you are down, back you up when caught in a difficult situation, understand if you are having a bad day, readily give a shoulder for you to cry on and help you to vent your grievances, go out of their way regardless of any inconvenience suffered. What a blessing indeed! A world without friends is simply unimaginable. One has to be an utter xenophobe not to enjoy the company of friends.
No matter how old and tattered we get, how sickly we feel, how lethargic our movements may become, the child within always waves back at us and tickles our soul to sometimes behave and say things that befit an unassuming kid. When this happens, only close friends have the forbearance to appreciate and smile at these stupidities, whereas others may frown and pass acrid comments.
Many scholars, senior officers, priests, intellectuals, men of letters, professors, and serious-looking persons are simply unrecognisable when they are in the company of their soul mates. The mischievous streaks, ably restrained by walls of forlorn exteriors, gush out like the spill-overs of strong dams.
Life is a journey that takes us along different pathways, which are sometimes smooth and sometimes bumpy. However, if one is blessed with good chums, the process of travel becomes easier even if the road is fraught with obstacles or unpleasant turns.
Friends lessen the pain of tragedies, which are plentiful, and enhance the joy of those pleasurable moments, which are, of course, comparatively fewer. When people shun you due to your failures, true friends lend you their ears to vent out your frustrations. They give you the opportunity of catharsis, which, according to psychologists, is a powerful emotional discharge that aids in maintaining sanity. Thus, friendship is an important medium that blocks the doors of a mental asylum.
An interesting anecdote is: “The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” Students of science know that when two elements do not combine chemically, they remain a mixture, with each element retaining its unique qualities and easily separable. On the other hand, when elements are chemically combined, they turn into a compound with altogether new characteristics and which is difficult to break up into the original components. Friendship is that compound which transforms two individuals into a newer and better form if it is accompanied by care, love and positivity.