Janoo says we can’t go to London this summers because dollar has gone too high and he can’t afford. I said to him, I said ‘Janoo please! I’m not crack. I spend pounds in London, not dollars. So don’t make ghatiya excuses, okay?’
He said, ‘Pound has gone up even more’. ‘How much?’ ‘Rs 190. That is if you can find any in the market!’ ‘Rs 190!’ I shrieked and immediately passed away. When I came back to life, I said to Janoo, ‘Accha chalo let’s go to Paris or Swizzerland like you said before. At least vahaan pounds aur dollars ka tau chakkar nahin hai.’
‘Listen to me!’ he said. ‘The rupee has plunged against the pound, dollar, euro, everything. Stock market has crashed. Inflation has rocketed.’
‘You mean we’ll have to spend summers here like the poors?’ I wailed.
Then a thought recurred to me. ‘But what about our oil deserves from the sea that are going to make even rehri wallahs millionaires?’
‘There’s no oil. Only Imran’s gas.’
In the afternoon I went to Hyper Star and there tuna tin had gone up from 120 to 220. Over night. I placed a rock on my heart and took the last three tins. I swear I’ve never felt so ghareeb. Kulchoo’s favourite English mustard and my diet biscuits and avocadoes had tau banished into thin air. I asked the shop wallah and he told me kay imported maal is not coming from the backside. ‘Because of daaler.’
On the way home I asked the driver to pick up something for servants’ iftaar. Aik tau servants also eat double double in Ramzaan na. Jalebi and samosas and chaat and then roti, murghi and chai on top. And if you don’t give, their faces swell up like balloons. Honestly, we all, we tau eat like birds compared to them. Between my servants and my tuna I’m tau going bangrupt. Chalo, at least I don’t have to pay for samosas in dollars. Yet.
He said, ‘Pound has gone up even more’. ‘How much?’ ‘Rs 190. That is if you can find any in the market!’ ‘Rs 190!’ I shrieked and immediately passed away. When I came back to life, I said to Janoo, ‘Accha chalo let’s go to Paris or Swizzerland like you said before. At least vahaan pounds aur dollars ka tau chakkar nahin hai.’
‘Listen to me!’ he said. ‘The rupee has plunged against the pound, dollar, euro, everything. Stock market has crashed. Inflation has rocketed.’
‘You mean we’ll have to spend summers here like the poors?’ I wailed.
Then a thought recurred to me. ‘But what about our oil deserves from the sea that are going to make even rehri wallahs millionaires?’
‘There’s no oil. Only Imran’s gas.’
In the afternoon I went to Hyper Star and there tuna tin had gone up from 120 to 220. Over night. I placed a rock on my heart and took the last three tins. I swear I’ve never felt so ghareeb. Kulchoo’s favourite English mustard and my diet biscuits and avocadoes had tau banished into thin air. I asked the shop wallah and he told me kay imported maal is not coming from the backside. ‘Because of daaler.’
On the way home I asked the driver to pick up something for servants’ iftaar. Aik tau servants also eat double double in Ramzaan na. Jalebi and samosas and chaat and then roti, murghi and chai on top. And if you don’t give, their faces swell up like balloons. Honestly, we all, we tau eat like birds compared to them. Between my servants and my tuna I’m tau going bangrupt. Chalo, at least I don’t have to pay for samosas in dollars. Yet.