When oh when will they announce The Mother of All Judgments? The Prosecution, which is moi, rests its case. Did you know that Prosecution is the oldest profession in the world? Mind you, I haven’t left it to the Prosecutes in my team to deliver justice. I’ve also enlisted the help of various Pirs, Faqirs, Fortune Tellers, stargazers and other technocrats. BTW, they’re going to help me write my next book, “Statecraft & Witchcraft”.
They’ve also told me that it’s a matter of days before Nawaz Sharif is dethroned and I am enthroned. I’ve been musing about all the things I’m going to do in the first hundred days of my premiership. All this musing reminds me of my favourite film, “The Sound of Musing”. Aah, those lovely Alpine valleys and the young Julie Andrews … sigh. All thoughts of statecraft drifted away as I sat there musing on the terrace in the fading light. Soon, there was only me, myself & I and the big black night and a big white moon. Sigh, I thought, here I am atop my house in Bani Gala, surrounded by phateechar natives and relu katta desis, when I could’ve been partying with Sir Richard Branson at his Venetian Palazzo di Fettucini Alle Vongole or with Viscount Toad at Toad Hall. Or I could’ve been partying the night away at London’s Tarts disco, that famous club for has-beens. Or I could’ve been cozying up to Lady Lucinda Lampost in her castle on the edge of Loch Jaw, a famous Scottish Lake. Aaaah …. where was I? Yes, my first tasks.
I will begin by turning Khyber-Pakhtunkhwa into a massive cricket pitch and the Punjab into a very large hospital. I will also bury Mr Jinnah’s liberal dream once and for all. I will issue shikar permits for Pakistan’s most endangered species “homo sapiens liberalis” or liberal human beings, top of which list will be people like Najam Sethi, Asma Jehangir and Pervez Rashid. These will be my lasting contributions to the peace of the grave in Pakistan.
Goodnight
Im the Dim
They’ve also told me that it’s a matter of days before Nawaz Sharif is dethroned and I am enthroned. I’ve been musing about all the things I’m going to do in the first hundred days of my premiership. All this musing reminds me of my favourite film, “The Sound of Musing”. Aah, those lovely Alpine valleys and the young Julie Andrews … sigh. All thoughts of statecraft drifted away as I sat there musing on the terrace in the fading light. Soon, there was only me, myself & I and the big black night and a big white moon. Sigh, I thought, here I am atop my house in Bani Gala, surrounded by phateechar natives and relu katta desis, when I could’ve been partying with Sir Richard Branson at his Venetian Palazzo di Fettucini Alle Vongole or with Viscount Toad at Toad Hall. Or I could’ve been partying the night away at London’s Tarts disco, that famous club for has-beens. Or I could’ve been cozying up to Lady Lucinda Lampost in her castle on the edge of Loch Jaw, a famous Scottish Lake. Aaaah …. where was I? Yes, my first tasks.
I will begin by turning Khyber-Pakhtunkhwa into a massive cricket pitch and the Punjab into a very large hospital. I will also bury Mr Jinnah’s liberal dream once and for all. I will issue shikar permits for Pakistan’s most endangered species “homo sapiens liberalis” or liberal human beings, top of which list will be people like Najam Sethi, Asma Jehangir and Pervez Rashid. These will be my lasting contributions to the peace of the grave in Pakistan.
Goodnight
Im the Dim