‘Chalo thanks God a Westren celeb has also come to Isloo,’ I said to Kulchoo as we were watching the news on TV last night.
‘Which Western celeb?’ he asked.
‘Oho baba, voh Neither Lands ki queen nahin hai, Queen Maximum?’
‘Ah, that old Queen,’ said Kulchoo. ‘So who are they inviting next? Elton John?’
‘Acchha?’ I asked. ‘Voh bhi royal hai?’
Vaisay talking of Westren celebs, hai that stupid jaisa, badtameez Trump has gone and won the circus in New Handsher. Janoo has explained to me the whole American elections ka system na that how they have circuses in places like Iowa and New Handsher and other snowy, snowy cold, cold estates and all the candidates from all the parties go over there in their overcoats and mufflers and get votes from there and those who come first then get their party’s domination – meaning that they become their party’s hot fave – and those who don’t get the votes, they conceit defeat and then they sit down and shut up. And then both the two Hot Faves from both sides go on to fight the proper election which is the biggest circus of all. By the way circuses are also called primaries. Ji haan.
I’ve tau maanoed a mannat that I will give a deg at Data Sahib’s if Trump looses the next circus. Honestly, I’m so allergic to him kay bus poocho hi na. You know na that if he becomes ring master of the circus he won’t let any Muslims into America? He’s said we’re all terrorists and murderers and we mustn’t be allowed on American soil. Personally speaking: I damn care. I’ve tau only ever gone to America for thorhi si shopping at Boomingdale and Sacks Filth Avenue which thanks to Shaikh Zayed, may he go straight to jannat, I can now do in Dubai only. What do you get in Sacks that you don’t get in Mall of the Emirates, haan? From Prada to Ayah Hindmarch to Lebootin, sub kuch, mashallah say, you get there. My tau shoe won’t to go to America if Trump is in charge….
‘Which Western celeb?’ he asked.
‘Oho baba, voh Neither Lands ki queen nahin hai, Queen Maximum?’
‘Ah, that old Queen,’ said Kulchoo. ‘So who are they inviting next? Elton John?’
‘Acchha?’ I asked. ‘Voh bhi royal hai?’
Vaisay talking of Westren celebs, hai that stupid jaisa, badtameez Trump has gone and won the circus in New Handsher. Janoo has explained to me the whole American elections ka system na that how they have circuses in places like Iowa and New Handsher and other snowy, snowy cold, cold estates and all the candidates from all the parties go over there in their overcoats and mufflers and get votes from there and those who come first then get their party’s domination – meaning that they become their party’s hot fave – and those who don’t get the votes, they conceit defeat and then they sit down and shut up. And then both the two Hot Faves from both sides go on to fight the proper election which is the biggest circus of all. By the way circuses are also called primaries. Ji haan.
I’ve tau maanoed a mannat that I will give a deg at Data Sahib’s if Trump looses the next circus. Honestly, I’m so allergic to him kay bus poocho hi na. You know na that if he becomes ring master of the circus he won’t let any Muslims into America? He’s said we’re all terrorists and murderers and we mustn’t be allowed on American soil. Personally speaking: I damn care. I’ve tau only ever gone to America for thorhi si shopping at Boomingdale and Sacks Filth Avenue which thanks to Shaikh Zayed, may he go straight to jannat, I can now do in Dubai only. What do you get in Sacks that you don’t get in Mall of the Emirates, haan? From Prada to Ayah Hindmarch to Lebootin, sub kuch, mashallah say, you get there. My tau shoe won’t to go to America if Trump is in charge….