Since Nawaz Sharif is going to be out of a job soon, I’m recommending him to President-Elect Trump for a slot. He should be appointed Secretary of Homeland Insecurity. And I’m also making other suggestions for Trump’s administration – Generals (retd) Zaheer ul Islam & Pasha as Secretaries of State for Regime Change In Various Banana Republics. DJ Butt as Secretary of Environment, Entertainment & Noise Pollution. The Rt Hon Zac Goldsmith as Secretary of The Treasury. Dr S Manhoos as Secretary of Offence. Maulana Tahir ul Qadri as Secretary of Transportation (Esp From Canada) and Myself as Secretary of Veteran Affaires.
I’ve also decided to reshuffle my own shadow cabinet. This time I’m going to bring in completely fresh faces. Sometimes you need highly inexperienced outsiders to bring a fresh perspective to highly specialized government positions. In this I’ve taken a leaf out of Trump’s book. Actually, he and I have a lot in common. Like me, he’s the candidate who has united all of his country’s intolerant, xenophobic, ignorant, neo-nationalists.
The other good news is that Christmas is around the corner. The boys are coming over and we’re having a Christmas tree. Please don’t tell the Taliban and my other extremist friends. I’ve made Aleem Khan in charge of Presents. He’s going to surprise me with some very nice prezzies which he’s going to pack in Mickey Mouse wrapping paper, tie with scarlet ribbon and put under the tree. I’m also putting some surprise presents under the tree for my friends and admirers. One present will be a banana wrapped in Goofy Goat paper because bananas are still the most popular fruit for pretending to receive phone calls. Then there’ll be colouring books with crayons for me and my besties. And framed photographs of Me, Myself & I for my shadow cabinet.
Talking of my shadow cabinet, in the last meeting of the core committee, Shafqat Mahmud asked me if I had any knowledge at any stage of the benami transaction done on my behalf in the purchase of my Bani Gala estate. I replied with alacrity, “I’ve never had any knowledge of anything at any stage.”
Im the Dim
I’ve also decided to reshuffle my own shadow cabinet. This time I’m going to bring in completely fresh faces. Sometimes you need highly inexperienced outsiders to bring a fresh perspective to highly specialized government positions. In this I’ve taken a leaf out of Trump’s book. Actually, he and I have a lot in common. Like me, he’s the candidate who has united all of his country’s intolerant, xenophobic, ignorant, neo-nationalists.
The other good news is that Christmas is around the corner. The boys are coming over and we’re having a Christmas tree. Please don’t tell the Taliban and my other extremist friends. I’ve made Aleem Khan in charge of Presents. He’s going to surprise me with some very nice prezzies which he’s going to pack in Mickey Mouse wrapping paper, tie with scarlet ribbon and put under the tree. I’m also putting some surprise presents under the tree for my friends and admirers. One present will be a banana wrapped in Goofy Goat paper because bananas are still the most popular fruit for pretending to receive phone calls. Then there’ll be colouring books with crayons for me and my besties. And framed photographs of Me, Myself & I for my shadow cabinet.
Talking of my shadow cabinet, in the last meeting of the core committee, Shafqat Mahmud asked me if I had any knowledge at any stage of the benami transaction done on my behalf in the purchase of my Bani Gala estate. I replied with alacrity, “I’ve never had any knowledge of anything at any stage.”
Im the Dim