I’m telling you, I can’t take the IMF’s bloodthirsty program any more. And to hell with FATF (they’ve made us give up our former best friends the terrorists) and our “pivot back to the West” has brought with it the toxic embrace of Al-Brince which in turn prevents us from cozying up to fellow dictators on the Bosphorus and in Kay Ell. Phew! I need a houri-inducing injection.
First stop Kay Ell, to make up with The Nonagenarian. “I hope you’ll forgive me for my no-show at your summit. It’s not my fault. I wasn’t allowed to come”, I said straight up. “So how are you here now, without permission?” asked the Nonagenarian. “Oh, I sent a letter of advance apology and here’s a copy: ‘Your Royal High & Mighty-ness, in recent months, I in common with Mera Sultan and the Nonagenarian, may inadvertently have given the impression that you were in some way totally unfit to lead the Muslim world on the grounds that your view of Iran is wholly unjustified and paranoid and a complete disaster. My statements such as ‘don’t mess with Iran, you’ll forget Afghanistan and Iraq etc.’ may have reinforced this impression. I now realize that there was not a jot of truth in these wild pronouncements. I accept that you have shown yourself to be one of the greatest and most capable leaders of this week, a consummate statesman with no equal other than me. I further accept that you are surrounded by a team of towering ability just like me, each one of whom would be fully capable of stepping into your shoes should you tragically lose your job which I sincerely hope you will do’.”
Once back, I was given the awful news that the entire finance team is ready to defect back to the IMF. I decided to preempt their departure by issuing the following press release: “Unhinged men acquitted after nearly a year inside” (headline). Main story: “A group of mentally unstable men were today allowed to walk free after spending nearly a year behind iron gates in the top-security Ministry of Finance.”
Im the Dim
First stop Kay Ell, to make up with The Nonagenarian. “I hope you’ll forgive me for my no-show at your summit. It’s not my fault. I wasn’t allowed to come”, I said straight up. “So how are you here now, without permission?” asked the Nonagenarian. “Oh, I sent a letter of advance apology and here’s a copy: ‘Your Royal High & Mighty-ness, in recent months, I in common with Mera Sultan and the Nonagenarian, may inadvertently have given the impression that you were in some way totally unfit to lead the Muslim world on the grounds that your view of Iran is wholly unjustified and paranoid and a complete disaster. My statements such as ‘don’t mess with Iran, you’ll forget Afghanistan and Iraq etc.’ may have reinforced this impression. I now realize that there was not a jot of truth in these wild pronouncements. I accept that you have shown yourself to be one of the greatest and most capable leaders of this week, a consummate statesman with no equal other than me. I further accept that you are surrounded by a team of towering ability just like me, each one of whom would be fully capable of stepping into your shoes should you tragically lose your job which I sincerely hope you will do’.”
Once back, I was given the awful news that the entire finance team is ready to defect back to the IMF. I decided to preempt their departure by issuing the following press release: “Unhinged men acquitted after nearly a year inside” (headline). Main story: “A group of mentally unstable men were today allowed to walk free after spending nearly a year behind iron gates in the top-security Ministry of Finance.”
Im the Dim