Why’s everybody after that wonderful world-renowned megalomaniac Donald Trump? He’s such a great guy. I have so much affinity with him – he’s a magnificent misogynist who also loves women, just like yours truly. I mean he’s got such positive views on women – “that one’s a knock-out”, “that one’s a 10”, “ that one used to be a 10 but she’s still a 7”. Despite Donald’s great love for women, Hillary Clinton has accused him of not having a constructive stance on women’s issues. What IS she smoking? We both know a lot of women and we also know that they have lots of issues.
No, Trump is a genius, always saying outrageous things to get his poll numbers up. Like me, always doing outrageous things to get my flagging popularity up. Like me, he’s a textbook narcissist. And for those who say he’s unfit for the White House, let me say that the White House is unfit for him: where’s the gold, the brassy bronze, the chrome, the women in bikinis?
Like me, he’s read the back flaps of some fascinating books. I believe he’s currently reading “Light Xenophobia With Just a Dash of Crassness”; it’s a great read, the only trouble is it’s written by some fat old woman.
Enough about The Donald, and on to the most important subject at hand – me. As you know, I’m going to launch Dharna II on August 14. On August 15, I’ll be Prime Minister. My only worry is this: am I going to be able to make a huge difference to everything in Pakistan, or am I going to be able to make only a very big difference?
The other thing that worries me is that when I rename Benazir Bhutto International Airport “Imran Khan International Airport”, it may lead to some disadvantages. I can just see The News running headlines saying “TRAVELLERS SAY IMRAN KHAN INCONVENIENT & UGLY” or “INTRUDERS FOUND IN SECURE AREAS OF IMRAN KHAN”. No, better not name the airport after the greatest living Pakistani.
No, Trump is a genius, always saying outrageous things to get his poll numbers up. Like me, always doing outrageous things to get my flagging popularity up. Like me, he’s a textbook narcissist. And for those who say he’s unfit for the White House, let me say that the White House is unfit for him: where’s the gold, the brassy bronze, the chrome, the women in bikinis?
Like me, he’s read the back flaps of some fascinating books. I believe he’s currently reading “Light Xenophobia With Just a Dash of Crassness”; it’s a great read, the only trouble is it’s written by some fat old woman.
Enough about The Donald, and on to the most important subject at hand – me. As you know, I’m going to launch Dharna II on August 14. On August 15, I’ll be Prime Minister. My only worry is this: am I going to be able to make a huge difference to everything in Pakistan, or am I going to be able to make only a very big difference?
The other thing that worries me is that when I rename Benazir Bhutto International Airport “Imran Khan International Airport”, it may lead to some disadvantages. I can just see The News running headlines saying “TRAVELLERS SAY IMRAN KHAN INCONVENIENT & UGLY” or “INTRUDERS FOUND IN SECURE AREAS OF IMRAN KHAN”. No, better not name the airport after the greatest living Pakistani.
Im the Dim