Poor Kulchoo. Instead of studying for his A' levels, he has to work on his See Wee. A See Wee is a letter that says what-what you've done.
Some chalaak types like Furry, they are chori chori making their kids' Cee Wees themselves by pulling stings. So why Kulchoo should be left behind, haan? Obviously I couldn’t tell Janoo because he would've gone up in smokes so I asked Jonkers because he also went to a foreign ki university. Apparently, universities like kids who play music. So if your child plays drums in a band it gives him kudos. But we don’t want mirasis in our family. Then Jonkers said keh sport wallahs are also welcomed. But swimming makes you so black. Also hockey and cricket give you heat stroke, playing in the sun in the afternoon. Also the players in Pakistan’s national teams, I’m sorry, but they’re not from our bagground.
I think so for sport I’ll put Kulchoo into carom bode only. You can play araam se in your own AC room.
Then Jonkers said that college admission wallahs like social work. So I sent my friend Sara of Sara’s Splendid Socials (she’s an event manager na) two jars of cream de la merde and she agreed to give Kulch a job for two weeks. But I had to remind her keh bhai he’s not a naukar, okay?
Lastly, Jonkers said articles published in newspapers also make a good expression. So I asked a poorish unmarried cousin from Daddy’s side who's a journalist if she had any unpublished articles and she said yes. So I told her I’m sending the driver with five thou and to rub out her own name and put Kulchoo’s there and hand the article over.
‘But Apa it’s about…’
‘I don’t care what the article’s about. I want it fata futt.’
Then I called Jugnu at The Friday Times and told her I’m sending my driver with Kulchoo’s article for publication. Two hours later I got a call from her. ‘Kulchoo’s article, you know na, it’s about his experience as a life long sufferer of acute PMT?’
Some chalaak types like Furry, they are chori chori making their kids' Cee Wees themselves by pulling stings. So why Kulchoo should be left behind, haan? Obviously I couldn’t tell Janoo because he would've gone up in smokes so I asked Jonkers because he also went to a foreign ki university. Apparently, universities like kids who play music. So if your child plays drums in a band it gives him kudos. But we don’t want mirasis in our family. Then Jonkers said keh sport wallahs are also welcomed. But swimming makes you so black. Also hockey and cricket give you heat stroke, playing in the sun in the afternoon. Also the players in Pakistan’s national teams, I’m sorry, but they’re not from our bagground.
I think so for sport I’ll put Kulchoo into carom bode only. You can play araam se in your own AC room.
Then Jonkers said that college admission wallahs like social work. So I sent my friend Sara of Sara’s Splendid Socials (she’s an event manager na) two jars of cream de la merde and she agreed to give Kulch a job for two weeks. But I had to remind her keh bhai he’s not a naukar, okay?
Lastly, Jonkers said articles published in newspapers also make a good expression. So I asked a poorish unmarried cousin from Daddy’s side who's a journalist if she had any unpublished articles and she said yes. So I told her I’m sending the driver with five thou and to rub out her own name and put Kulchoo’s there and hand the article over.
‘But Apa it’s about…’
‘I don’t care what the article’s about. I want it fata futt.’
Then I called Jugnu at The Friday Times and told her I’m sending my driver with Kulchoo’s article for publication. Two hours later I got a call from her. ‘Kulchoo’s article, you know na, it’s about his experience as a life long sufferer of acute PMT?’