Janoo says change is in the air. I thought only Covid was in the air but Janoo says kay no change is also hoovering above us.
‘You are meaning spring is coming? Or new variant?’ I asked.
‘I was referring to a significant change in the current dispensation.’
Lo. Sun lo zurra. And then you all are asking kay why I’m not doing more talking shalking with Janoo? How you can talk with someone who speaks like they are reading from the Incycledpedia, haan? So instead of khapaowing my head, I just asked straight away: ‘Exactly what you are meaning?’
‘I mean that The Great Khan has been shown the door.’
‘I think so Janoo, Imran has seen a lot many doors in his life,’ I said. ‘And not just seen but gone through also. He says himself only kay he’s seen west ‘andar say’, so obviously he must have gone through that door. And when he was being young lafanga in London he must have seen zillions of bedroom doors. And nightclub doors also. And nowdays he must be seeing his toilet door every day and his front door and his back door and car door and …’
‘I mean he’s on his way out.’
‘Acchha? He’s going out? Where?’
‘Out of office,’ said Janoo with a sigh. ‘He’s being given the boot.’
‘Whose boot? Bajwa’s?’
‘In a manner of speaking, yes. I suspect Bajwa is going to throw him out.’
‘Haw, really? Who told you?’
‘His jittery outburst on TV threatening to wreak destruction if he’s dislodged…’
‘You mean all his dhumkees to us ghatiya log?’
‘Not to us. I think he was warning his enablers.’
‘His neighbours? I thought he didn’t have any in Bunny Gala. I mean why have 300 canals ka plot if you have to put up with bore neighbours, haan?’
Janoo sighed and picking up his newspaper, disappeared behind it. Meaning kay bus. Conversation over.
And that’s why we don’t do so much of chatting shatting. Because Janoo poor thing ko samajh hi nahin aati.
‘You are meaning spring is coming? Or new variant?’ I asked.
‘I was referring to a significant change in the current dispensation.’
Lo. Sun lo zurra. And then you all are asking kay why I’m not doing more talking shalking with Janoo? How you can talk with someone who speaks like they are reading from the Incycledpedia, haan? So instead of khapaowing my head, I just asked straight away: ‘Exactly what you are meaning?’
‘I mean that The Great Khan has been shown the door.’
‘I think so Janoo, Imran has seen a lot many doors in his life,’ I said. ‘And not just seen but gone through also. He says himself only kay he’s seen west ‘andar say’, so obviously he must have gone through that door. And when he was being young lafanga in London he must have seen zillions of bedroom doors. And nightclub doors also. And nowdays he must be seeing his toilet door every day and his front door and his back door and car door and …’
‘I mean he’s on his way out.’
‘Acchha? He’s going out? Where?’
‘Out of office,’ said Janoo with a sigh. ‘He’s being given the boot.’
‘Whose boot? Bajwa’s?’
‘In a manner of speaking, yes. I suspect Bajwa is going to throw him out.’
‘Haw, really? Who told you?’
‘His jittery outburst on TV threatening to wreak destruction if he’s dislodged…’
‘You mean all his dhumkees to us ghatiya log?’
‘Not to us. I think he was warning his enablers.’
‘His neighbours? I thought he didn’t have any in Bunny Gala. I mean why have 300 canals ka plot if you have to put up with bore neighbours, haan?’
Janoo sighed and picking up his newspaper, disappeared behind it. Meaning kay bus. Conversation over.
And that’s why we don’t do so much of chatting shatting. Because Janoo poor thing ko samajh hi nahin aati.