Happy New Year’s everyone. I would have said it to you earlier except that I’ve had the world’s most worst my grain. Had all my in law’s for dinner na – The Old Bag who’d come from Sharkpur and Janoo’s sisters, Psycho, Cobra and their husbands and their ten thousand children and even one or two grandchildren. All talking loudly loudly and cracking Punjoo jokes and laughing like hyenas and each of them, even Psycho’s three year oldgrandson, eating enough for ten pehelwans. I was supposed to have them for dinner but they actually had me. By the time they left I felt like I’d been chewed up and spat out. I swear I felt like those manak kins in the clothes shops of Kabul whose heads the Talibans lopped off recently because they were anti Islam. I didn’t know mana kins had opinions but may be the Kabul ones are different to the ones in Anarkali and Liberty Market?
I was just getting over the trauma of my khaana when Sunny sent me a video of a wedding in Isloo where the bride made an entrance in ghagra and dupatta and jewellery and false lashes and all, but instead of the little gold purse we all carried as brides, she carried a Kalashnikoff. And her brothers on either side also dancing and prancing with Kalashnikoffs of their own. I think so it was meant to be a jolly dance but I wonder ifthe guns were loaded? Thanks God I wasn’t invited. I swear if I’d been the groom’s wallahs, I tau would have run a million miles. Vaisay, come to think of it maybe I should take a leap from their books, and also welcome Janoo’s family at the next family dinner with a Kalashnikoff strapped to my chest.
What else can I tell you? Haan, Imran Khan has announced that all bank employees must wear shalwarkameez from now and speak only in Urdu. I think so he’s hoping it will lift the econmy. Chalo, yay bhi try maar lein. After this all we’ll have left are the Peerni’s chhoomantars…
Haan, so happy new years everyone. I hope so aap sub khoob enjoy karein gay….