SUCH GUP

SUCH GUP

Insult to injury


Our mole reports that amongst YRG’s votes in the Senate were two belonging to Chory Shuj of Guj’s group. Apparently, the allies initially consented when they were asked to vote for The Great Khan’s candidate. But not one to leave good enough alone, The Khan reportedly asked for proof in the form of phone photos of their votes. This outraged the allies, adding insult to injury, and two of them decided to break ranks. One of course is rumoured to be the Chory’s kinsman, the other as good as a kinsman, the Burly Bloke from Bahawalnagar.

More dash than cash


Sources close to the late lamented Big Ben’s Hubby are saying he did his deals for Senate votes not on the basis of cash but dash. Dash meaning boldness and cunning. He mined the rich vein of frustration in The Great Khan’s ranks and asked the disaffected for their hearts’ desires. To a man, they all said they couldn’t face the prospect of elections on The Khan’s ticket. The inference was obvious. If The Khan’s electoral stock is so low, The Man of Steel’s ticket will be gold dust in the coming contest. So, Hubby asked The Man to make the desired promises to the turncoats. The Man did his calculations, we hear, and made commitments wherever he could. Some of these still didn’t make it past the post, because The Khan, panicking, implored The Boyz to help at the last minute.

The fear stalking The Great Khan’s horde now is that those who want to shore up their PMLN tickets might do a no-show on the day of the confidence vote.

Helter-skelter


The poor babus are running helter-skelter trying to shore up The Great Khan’s government. This goes for all of them – in all corners of the country. Long gone is the idea of an impartial bureaucracy – all governments successively put paid to that – but this is a new low, with the babus pleading for parliamentarians’ attendance at various get-togethers and dinners. On the other hand, would-be contenders for power are planning their own shows of strength, throwing banquets for parliamentarians. Meanwhile, The Khan’s ministers are busy concluding their “business”. Insiders say they are putting the seals on their deals and cashing out as quickly as they can. They, like Julius Caesar are telling each other to beware “The Ides of March”.