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Diary of a Social Butterfly

TFT by TFT
December 25, 2020 - Updated on August 15, 2021
in Features
Diary of a Social Butterfly
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Haw look at UK! It’s become just like poor brown country. Diseased, cut off and poor. Aur tau aur even Pakistan and India have band them from coming over here and bringing this new stain of Covid and affecting us all healthy fit brown people.

Just look vaisay, in one year only UK ka kya husher ho gya hai. Between you me and the four walls, I think so Boris Johnson has been a little bit manhoos for them. What what he promised –freedom, trade, Brexit – and what what he’s delivered – Covid, ghurbat, bezti. Janoo says that Boris had boasted to Brexit wallah goras that we’ll have our cake and eat it too when he was showing them green gardens of divorce from Ew. ‘And today they’re all panicking because France has closed its border with them and they’re worried sick that they won’t get their fresh lettuce and tomatoes,’ chuckled Janoo. ‘How the mighty are fallen!’ I said ‘haan, Janoo, you’re so right’ but inside I was thinking goras must be crack if they are worried about not getting lettuce when they have cake.

But honestly if London’s going down will, tau what will become of us? Where will we go in the summers? Dubai tau is so hot in June and July and anyways it’s so full of desis that you feel you haven’t gone anywhere and Singapur and Malaysia are okay  but they’ve also got too much of humidity and no Harrods or Selfridges even. Yes, they’ve got Chinese restaurants but honestly, not one of them is a batch on Baker Street wallah Royal China. And in New York everyone is so budtameez and badmizaj and LA vaghera tau could be on Satin or Mars, so far they are. In any case, California has so many fires and earthquakes and brown people it might as well be a poor country also. And Europe mein no one can be bothered to speak English. No baba, London ki baat hi aur hai. If Boris can’t be bothered to fix London for the goras, least he can do is make it rich and healthy again for me and Sunny and Baby and Mulloo.

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