I’m still under house arrest. While rest of Lahore is out Eid shopping and ghoomoing and pooring into Khaadi like a tsunami, I’m sarrhoing in my house with my two jailers, Janoo and Kulchoo, who insist kay Covitt hasn’t gone anywhere and that people who are roaming around are escorting trouble and when there is a second sprite and people start dropping like fries then I will see with my own two eyes and thank them. It will be too late for me, I said, to see or thank anyone because I will have sarrhoed to death by then.
Talking of sarrhoing, Mulloo phoned today – my jailers don’t allow anyone to visit us unless they are wearing Azmat suits and gas masks like astronots so naturally no one comes. Haan so Mulloo called and said that she’d read in a newspaper that Indonesians have found cure which is to lie in the sun all day because Corona dies in heat and since Indonesians are our Muslim brothers she is going to do like them only. I said to her Mulloo you can copy Indonesians because you are already colour of a khajoor and if you now become colour of jamun, it will only be unnees bees ka farrk but me with my foreigners waali complexion… I was still speaking when she slammed the phone. I’m sorry to say that Corona has destroyed whatever was bacha kucha of her manners. They say it strikes everyone differently.
Meanwhiles during my lock up – Janoo says I’m not locked up but locked down. I say up or down, Janoo it’s all same to same. All I know is I’m fed up with being stuck up. Anyways, during my jail time, while everyone else is making marry in Packages Mall, I’m following Imran’s advise and being a good citizen of Naya Pakistan by watching dramas of Purana Turkey. I have now seen 75 hours of Ertu Gull. I have started calling Janoo Bay. And Kulchoo Wakoof. Okay bye now. I have another 26 hours of Ertu Gull.
Talking of sarrhoing, Mulloo phoned today – my jailers don’t allow anyone to visit us unless they are wearing Azmat suits and gas masks like astronots so naturally no one comes. Haan so Mulloo called and said that she’d read in a newspaper that Indonesians have found cure which is to lie in the sun all day because Corona dies in heat and since Indonesians are our Muslim brothers she is going to do like them only. I said to her Mulloo you can copy Indonesians because you are already colour of a khajoor and if you now become colour of jamun, it will only be unnees bees ka farrk but me with my foreigners waali complexion… I was still speaking when she slammed the phone. I’m sorry to say that Corona has destroyed whatever was bacha kucha of her manners. They say it strikes everyone differently.
Meanwhiles during my lock up – Janoo says I’m not locked up but locked down. I say up or down, Janoo it’s all same to same. All I know is I’m fed up with being stuck up. Anyways, during my jail time, while everyone else is making marry in Packages Mall, I’m following Imran’s advise and being a good citizen of Naya Pakistan by watching dramas of Purana Turkey. I have now seen 75 hours of Ertu Gull. I have started calling Janoo Bay. And Kulchoo Wakoof. Okay bye now. I have another 26 hours of Ertu Gull.