I hear Nawaz Sharif is recovering in London. So, in a generous gesture, since this is the season of goodwill, I am sending him the following email:
Dear Mian Sahab, I am delighted that you’re getting better. In order to aid your recovery, I thought I would share the latest medical research with you.
Contrary to earlier analyses, whereby fat was bad and being overweight was a health risk, it has now been proved by highly qualified scientists that fat is the best thing and being overweight is also great for health. In fact, the fatter the better. Excess weight has been shown to protect against heart disease, diabetes, hypertension, cancer, liver disorders, intestinal issues, gout, arthritis, pancreatitis, hyperthyroidism, hypothyroidism, Socialism, Communism, Hinduism, Buddhism and Jewishness.
Fat promotes brain activity and makes people brilliant. Just as there are thin people dying to come out of fat people, there are fat people dying to emerge from their thin frames. An example of a secretly fat but apparently thin genius was Einstein. Moreover, fat people are more likely to be in power like Prince Muhammad bin Salman, President Donald Trump, Prime Minister Boris Johnson, Prime Minister Narendra Modi and many more.
Thin people are more likely to lose power as in the case of Theresa May and Christine Lagarde but that’s probably because they were women and shouldn’t have been there in the first place.
So, Mian Sahab, fat is excellent. If you’ve lost any weight, please immediately start putting it back on. Scientists swear by this latest research and it has been sponsored by the following philanthropic business houses, dedicated to the progress of medical science and greater glory of humanity:
Yours very sincerely
Im the Dim
Dear Mian Sahab, I am delighted that you’re getting better. In order to aid your recovery, I thought I would share the latest medical research with you.
Contrary to earlier analyses, whereby fat was bad and being overweight was a health risk, it has now been proved by highly qualified scientists that fat is the best thing and being overweight is also great for health. In fact, the fatter the better. Excess weight has been shown to protect against heart disease, diabetes, hypertension, cancer, liver disorders, intestinal issues, gout, arthritis, pancreatitis, hyperthyroidism, hypothyroidism, Socialism, Communism, Hinduism, Buddhism and Jewishness.
Fat promotes brain activity and makes people brilliant. Just as there are thin people dying to come out of fat people, there are fat people dying to emerge from their thin frames. An example of a secretly fat but apparently thin genius was Einstein. Moreover, fat people are more likely to be in power like Prince Muhammad bin Salman, President Donald Trump, Prime Minister Boris Johnson, Prime Minister Narendra Modi and many more.
Thin people are more likely to lose power as in the case of Theresa May and Christine Lagarde but that’s probably because they were women and shouldn’t have been there in the first place.
So, Mian Sahab, fat is excellent. If you’ve lost any weight, please immediately start putting it back on. Scientists swear by this latest research and it has been sponsored by the following philanthropic business houses, dedicated to the progress of medical science and greater glory of humanity:
- Butt Karahi.
- Muhammadi Nihari.
- Lahore Biryani House.
- Lakshmi Chowk Siri Paye.
- Golden Sweets Corner.
- Amritsari Hareesa.
- Sarhadi Chapli Kabab.
- Bar B Q Tonite.
- Behtareen Bakery.
- Bundu Khan Qeema Naan.
Yours very sincerely
Im the Dim