Nuggets from the Urdu press

These nuggets are culled from the Urdu press. They are summarised here without comment. Absurd or ridiculous, tft takes no responsibility for them.

Nuggets from the Urdu press

Awaiting Tabdeeli


Daily Express (09 September 2019) informed its readers that in Naya Pakistan, claims of police reform had become merely political slogans and that the Punjab Police in particular had subjected the people to new injustices. According to the report cited, policing remained much as it had under previous governments and so in Naya Pakistan, the same old approach persisted when it came to matters of transfers, First Investigation Reports (FIRs), arrests and the formation of investigative committees which consigned issues to cold storage.


Discerning Donkeys


It was reported by Daily Dunya (12 September 2019) that the prices of donkeys fed on pistachio, almonds and desi ghee had skyrocketed. At one donkey fair in Badin, which brought together animals from all over Sindh, one seller priced his donkey at Rs. 10 lakh (1 million).


Forewarned


Special Assistant to the Prime Minister for Information and Broadcasting Firdous Ashiq Awan, according to Daily Express (12 September 2019), opined that Bilawal Bhutto Zardari’s statement meant that he was saying to Maulana Fazal-ur-Rehman “Stay awake, don’t count on us!” (jaagde rehna, saaday te na rehna) Further, she addressed the Maulana and claimed that he was being used as a sacrificial animal by parties dedicated to traditional politics and saving ill-gotten wealth (mauroosi siyasat aur maal-bachao partiyan).

Anyone?


Daily Express (12 September 2019) quoted Shahbaz Gill as saying that anyone who did not like Punjab Chief Minister Usman Buzdar’s face ought to leave the ruling party (jinhein Usman Buzdar ki shakal pasand nahin woh party chorr dein). He added that on the day when the Prime Minister ordered it, Buzdar would vacate the CM’s residence within 12 hours.


Support from Bilawal


The PPP’s Bilawal Bhutto Zardari, according to Daily Jang (12 September 2019), stated that he would not participate in Maulana Fazal-ur-Rehman’s protest and lockdown in the federal capital. He was quoted as saying that this decision was taken by Maulana on his own. He further added that Maulana would enjoy his moral support (hamari inhein ikhlaqi himayat haasil hogi) and that a puppet government (kath-putli hakoomat) could no longer be tolerated, that it would have to go home and that any injustice could be borne for this.


No more nuclear worries?


Daily Dunya (13 September 2019) informed its readers that the leader of an outfit dedicated to the protection of cows, Shankar Lal, claimed that cow dung could save Indians in the event of a nuclear attack by Pakistan. According to the report, Shankar Lal claimed that if a ditch were dug into the ground, covered with leaves and then covered with a layer of cow dung 1.5 feet deep, it could keep humans safe. In his view, the dung would absorb the harmful radiation.


Winter is Coming


According to Daily Dunya (10 September 2019), Hafiz Hussain Ahmed of the JUI-F predicted that just like in the past, the oppressors (sitamgar) will reach their end in September and that it was possible that PM Imran Khan could lay down his arms in December (December mein Niazi hathyaar daal sakta hai). He went on to say that the task that was required of the “little one” (nikka) on the national stage had been fulfilled and that if he were retained any longer, international actors might take advantage. And so, the JUI leader hoped, those who had inflicted this pain would now administer a medicine (tawaqqoh hai ke dard denay walay ab dawa dein ge).


The old and the new


Chief Minister of Punjab Usman Buzdar was quoted by Daily Jang (13 September 2019) as saying that he did not care about criticism (tanqeed ki parvah nahin) and that he was proceeding an agenda of serving the masses. He further stated that in the past, the people of the province had lost much due to wrong priorities on the part of the government, but that his administration had good intentions (hamari niyyat neyk hai).


Strategy


PM Imran Khan, according to Daily Dunya (14 September 2019), stated that he knew how much passion there was in the youth, but that nobody was to move towards the Line of Control. The PM continued that he would tell when that was to be done and that now was not the time for it.


Adieu to politics


According to Daily Dunya (15 September 2019), Tahir-ul-Qadri announced his retirement from politics. He was quoted as saying that he wanted to remind the rulers of the time when his followers were in a joint struggle alongside them, but that the government had failed to fulfill its promises.