Even in Jinnah Hospital I am guarded by police. But thanks God it is Punjab Poolce and not very chlaak. The constable who sits outside my room is not a lert (by the way, what is a lert?) but at least he is a musing. Lerts and musings are different persons altogether. Any ways, when constable Wqaas came in to my room yesterday, he said, “Mian Saab, what a nice! Is this a modren art painting that Maryam Bibi brought you few days back?” I said, “No, Wqaas, that is large mirror.”
To pass time, I got talking to Constable Wqaas. “Why you became policeman Wqaas?” Wqaas sighed and said, “Actuallly, Mian Saab, I wanted to become doctor and I even got into medical college”. “Really?” I exclamated, “what subject were you studying?” “That’s the problem Mian Saab. I was not studying anything. They were studying me.”
We watch TV together, and Constable Wqaas does running commentary on everything. I was flicking channels and came to National Geographic in which they showed a mummy. Wqaas said, “Mian Saab, look! So many bandages. Must be a very bad truck accident”. Before I could explain that it is not accident, it is mummy from Egypt (although who knows that inside it is woman, I mean it could also be a daddy, but never minds), Wqaas said, “Look Mian Saab! Truck number is also written beneath it – BC 2300.”
I have become very found of Wqaas. I asked him what he wants as a tip from me. He says he wants latest TV. I said, “let me give you money for it, go and buy of your choice”. He shook his head and said, “last month I collected money and went to buy TV but they wouldn’t sell it to me saying, ‘sorry, we don’t sell to policemen’. I changed my uniform and went back, still they said same thing. I thought shopkeeper had recognized me. Next day I went in burqa with money and said I wanted that TV. Shopkeeper said, ‘I told you, we don’t sell to policemen’. I threw burqa off in rage and said, ‘haw you are knowing I am from Punjab Poolce?’. Shopkeeper said, ‘because that is not TV. It is microwave.’”
NS
To pass time, I got talking to Constable Wqaas. “Why you became policeman Wqaas?” Wqaas sighed and said, “Actuallly, Mian Saab, I wanted to become doctor and I even got into medical college”. “Really?” I exclamated, “what subject were you studying?” “That’s the problem Mian Saab. I was not studying anything. They were studying me.”
We watch TV together, and Constable Wqaas does running commentary on everything. I was flicking channels and came to National Geographic in which they showed a mummy. Wqaas said, “Mian Saab, look! So many bandages. Must be a very bad truck accident”. Before I could explain that it is not accident, it is mummy from Egypt (although who knows that inside it is woman, I mean it could also be a daddy, but never minds), Wqaas said, “Look Mian Saab! Truck number is also written beneath it – BC 2300.”
I have become very found of Wqaas. I asked him what he wants as a tip from me. He says he wants latest TV. I said, “let me give you money for it, go and buy of your choice”. He shook his head and said, “last month I collected money and went to buy TV but they wouldn’t sell it to me saying, ‘sorry, we don’t sell to policemen’. I changed my uniform and went back, still they said same thing. I thought shopkeeper had recognized me. Next day I went in burqa with money and said I wanted that TV. Shopkeeper said, ‘I told you, we don’t sell to policemen’. I threw burqa off in rage and said, ‘haw you are knowing I am from Punjab Poolce?’. Shopkeeper said, ‘because that is not TV. It is microwave.’”
NS