Looks like I’ll have to revise my political diary all over again, with the ever shifting balance of power in Pakistan. Diaries are very useful things. All my numbers (and other people’s telephone numbers and their names) are in there. I’ve got the alphabet in big bold letters on one side. And numbers on the other. Diaries it has to be because cell phones are out. And that’s because horrid women like Gulalai are always asking me to turn over my phone to the authorities.
In my updated diary, “A” is for Firebrands of Faizabad whereas before it is used to be “A” for Alpha Male which is me, obviously. Now “A” is for the Firebrands because all the As appear to be with them — well, at least two, Allah & ahem, well, let’s leave it there, shall we?
“B” is for the Firebrands of Faizabad whereas it used to be for “Bombshells”, endless list if I may add. Now “B” is for the Firebrands because they’re the Bombshells of contemporary Pakistan, if you know what I mean.
“C” is for women who’re hot, in other words “Chicks”. “D” is for women who don’t ask questions, in other words “Dolls”. “E” is for women who do, in other words “Excluded”. And so on until we get to “F” which is for “Fabulous Firebrands” (earlier it was another F word, but let’s forget about that, shall we?) And so on until we get to “N” which is not for the obvious which is “Na Ehl” but for something more mysterious which is “Nawaz”. “R” is for PMLN MNAs, the ones that are in touch with us and the boys, “Rats” leaving a sinking ship. “S” used to be for “Stop Nawaz” but it’s now for “Stop Shahbaz” and “T” is for rich people who can help me get places, in other words “Taxis”.
“U” is for “You Lot”, the electorate. “V” is for “Very Nice” brackets “Chicks” brackets “Dolls”. “W” is for “Women”, meaning all the PMLN MNAs who don’t have the guts to dump Nawaz and “W” is also for “Whiners” meaning all the media people who criticise me and “W” is also for Maulana Fazlurrahman meaning “Walrus”. “X” is for my private activities at Bunny Gala, with “Y” which is Yusuf and “Z” which is Zak.
In my updated diary, “A” is for Firebrands of Faizabad whereas before it is used to be “A” for Alpha Male which is me, obviously. Now “A” is for the Firebrands because all the As appear to be with them — well, at least two, Allah & ahem, well, let’s leave it there, shall we?
“B” is for the Firebrands of Faizabad whereas it used to be for “Bombshells”, endless list if I may add. Now “B” is for the Firebrands because they’re the Bombshells of contemporary Pakistan, if you know what I mean.
“C” is for women who’re hot, in other words “Chicks”. “D” is for women who don’t ask questions, in other words “Dolls”. “E” is for women who do, in other words “Excluded”. And so on until we get to “F” which is for “Fabulous Firebrands” (earlier it was another F word, but let’s forget about that, shall we?) And so on until we get to “N” which is not for the obvious which is “Na Ehl” but for something more mysterious which is “Nawaz”. “R” is for PMLN MNAs, the ones that are in touch with us and the boys, “Rats” leaving a sinking ship. “S” used to be for “Stop Nawaz” but it’s now for “Stop Shahbaz” and “T” is for rich people who can help me get places, in other words “Taxis”.
“U” is for “You Lot”, the electorate. “V” is for “Very Nice” brackets “Chicks” brackets “Dolls”. “W” is for “Women”, meaning all the PMLN MNAs who don’t have the guts to dump Nawaz and “W” is also for “Whiners” meaning all the media people who criticise me and “W” is also for Maulana Fazlurrahman meaning “Walrus”. “X” is for my private activities at Bunny Gala, with “Y” which is Yusuf and “Z” which is Zak.
Im the Dim