Distinct
Daily Jang (24 April 2017) reported that according to Imran Khan, the difference between Asif Ali Zardari and Nawaz Sharif is that the former is not a hypocrite, while the latter is one.
High standards?
According to Daily Jang (24 April 2017), former President General (retd) Pervez Musharraf stated his view that the Pakistani people are more enlightened and progressive than the Indian people, and that is why Pakistani religious parties are weaker.
One rasgulla too many
In the Indian state of Uttar Pradesh, a wedding broke down after a guest ate an extra rasgulla sweet. Daily Jang (24 April 2017) stated that one of the bride’s relatives was in charge of distributing one (and only one) rasgulla to everyone who arrived, but a dispute broke out when one individual from the groom’s side insisted on having an extra sweet - resulting in a ruckus which eventually expanded to include the bride’s father. At this point the bride chose to call off her wedding.
Cat Biryani
According to Daily Dunya (24 April 2017), a woman was looking for her two missing cats, and her search eventually led her to the home of a man who made biryani using cat meat. The individual she discovered had kept her cats in a cage, and had several more cats in sacks.
Alternative reality?
Daily Jang (24 April 2017) reported that the federal minister for water and power, Khwaja Asif, is of the opinion that the protests in Sindh over loadshedding are taking place in areas where people steal electricity and don’t pay their bills. He went on to emphasise that loadshedding is caused by people stealing electricity and that those who pay their bills are not affected.
Watch your sugar!
It was reported by Daily Dunya (25 April 2017) that the leader of the Jamaat-e-Islami, Siraj-ul-Haq, commented on the Panama case verdict by saying that those who are distributing and eating sweets can do even more of the same, but that sweets can cause sugar (diabetes).
Stolen corridors and identities?
Daily Dunya (25 April 2017) quoted PPP leader Asif Ali Zardari’s comments on a number of issues. He stated that the CPEC project had been stolen by the PML-N government, but that he and his party would recover it. The former President also stated that Imran Khan was a “Pathan in name only” and that he called himself Pashtun but did not speak Pashto and nor was he from there.
Sad Trump
According to Daily Dunya (29 April 2017), US President Donald Trump feels that the presidency has taken away the joys of life from him (zindagi ke mazzay cheen liay). He feels trapped in his new life, and burdened by the workload, and that he had not earlier anticipated that being President would be so difficult.
Consequences of lying
According to Daily Jang (30 April 2017), Chief Minister of Punjab Shahbaz Sharif commented on Imran Khan’s allegations of being offered bribes to stay silent on the Panama matter. The Chief Minister stated that if he were proven to be dishonest, he would leave politics forever, and that if Imran Khan is proven to be lying, then he would be known as the IG of liars (jhooton ka IG).