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Home TFT E-Paper Archives

Not around here!

Shehzad Ghias by Shehzad Ghias
December 16, 2016 - Updated on September 21, 2021
in TFT E-Paper Archives, Features

Efforts to link Donald Trump to Pakistan are, of course, an Illuminati conspiracy to tarnish our excellent record with freedoms and human rights

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Pakistanis have been jolted by the election of Donald Trump as the next President of the United States, so much so that the mental trauma has pushed us to push Masroor Nawaz Jhangvi to the Punjab Assembly.

Americans are dumb. Pakistan would never elect a hateful bigot promising to go to war with its neighbour and blaming all of the country’s issues on immigrants… to any office.

We would never elect a President who promises to implement an entire system based on an extreme understanding of religion which demonises all other religions.

We would never elect an openly misogynistic man to office. In fact, we respect women so much that we repeatedly elect politicians who have married multiple women simultaneously. There have been no allegations of sexual violence against any of our rulers, and if there were any such allegations I am convinced the ministers would come to the defence of the victim.

Mass bigotry and incitement to violence - alien to Pakistan but now common in the United States?
Mass bigotry and incitement to violence – alien to Pakistan but now common in the United States?

Donald Trump wants to register Muslims in the US. What kind of a country makes legislation to control the personal beliefs of a minority?

Donald Trump wants to build a registry and wants Muslims to be publicly be recognised as Muslims. What kind of a country makes legislation to control the personal beliefs of a minority? Only a bigoted leader could call for religious liberties to be trampled by asking members of a certain religion to publicly identity themselves, not speak about their religion and not enter sites of other religions…or Hafeez Center.

Donald Trump is a dictator. No modern democracy should ever have a dictator in office. Even if they win a 97% percent approval referendum: nobody would ever believe anybody was elected with a 100% ‘Yes’ vote so dictators often put in 3% of No’s in the results to make it more believable.

Donald Trump would never be elected president in Pakistan. He does not even mention India in his campaign. Now if he was to promise to build a wall on the Line of Control and make Narendra Modi pay for it then he would have been our top choice. But alas…

Making Pakistan great again?
Making Pakistan great again?

America and Pakistan cannot be compared. Donald Trump is being completely racist by labeling all Mexicans as being rapists and murderers. That is a vast generalisation that should never be used to describe an entire populace. However, we know for a fact that all Afghans in Pakistan are criminals and Indian agents – that is not a generalization. We have evidence because we read one story this year about an Afghan person being a criminal, which is enough evidence to show that all Afghans are criminals. Logic!

Hilary Clinton showed such weakness by accepting the results of the elections. Every Pakistani politician, and Donald Trump, knows that the election is only fair when you win. You can use the “fact” that the election has been rigged against the elected officials for the rest of their tenure. Hilary has let go of her biggest bargaining chip, dhandlee, just for the sake of protecting the institutions of democracy and governance.“Milli Bhagat hai!”

America needs to get its house in order and stop blaming immigrants for their issues. All of Pakistan’s problems are because of Afghanistan and India so it is not fair to say we should do the same.

America should have elected a leader more like Imran Khan: an outsider who promises to drain the swamp and put corrupt politicians in jail. Donald Trump is one of the richest men in America and he claims to be a spokesperson for the poor? Donald Trump has not been even paid any taxes for the last two decades. Next he will claim that his residence was gifted to him by his wife. We wouldn’t even know which one because Donald Trump uses his fame to get married multiple times. See, he is nothing like anyone we know of here.

Even if we think of Donald Trump has a megalomaniac who does it for the attention and to increase his celebrity staus, we have to be careful of his appointments. It is never about one person. By aligning himself with known religious extremists Donald Trump has put key policy advisers in position of power where they can control the administration to push forward their agenda. Donald Trump is simply the face of all that.

Imran Khan did not fall into the same trap as him despite being a big celebrity himself. Imran Khan strategically aligned himself with JI to ensure his coalition government in KPK. As is part of politics, he ceded control of important policies to JI but that is a political reality. As Imran Khan told us: do not look at the candidates, just look at Imran Khan and vote. If you think Imran Khan is a non-corrupt politician who will make Pakistan Great Again, it does not matter who else is in his party.

Donald Trump would never get elected in Pakistan. Such things can happen only in America.

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The Friday Times is Pakistan’s first independent weekly, founded in 1989. In 2021, the publication went into collaboration with digital news platform Naya Daur Media to publish under a daily cycle.


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