Big tamasha: that journo, Civil Almedia, put a leaked khabbar in Dawn about a top secret meeting where guvmunt warned Generals kay baaz aa jao, stop supporting jihadis otherwise all foreign ki countries will do kutti with us. The Generals became all aag bagola at how dare these bloody civilians tell us what to do and how dare this Civil go and swill the beans to the stuppid awaam? This is their majaal? The Corpse Commanders called a special meeting to discuss Civil only. And who his sneaky informant was.
So naturally Generals charhoed on guvmunt and naturally guvmunt charhoed on Civil and naturally Interior Minion Chaudhry Nisar who is more loyal than the king immediately put Civil’s name on Exit Control List and naturally all the journos went mantle and started saying how dare you put Civil on ECL and how dare you tell to us what we can and can’t report? Best of all, even Indian journos had to budgingly accept that bhai Pakistani journos have real guts.
Talking of Indian journos, who is Arnab Gosmarmy? I thought our anchors were crack but he tau sounds totally rapid. How he screams, shrieks and spits, bechara! Seems permanently in the throws of PMT. I know the signs and systems because Mulloo’s a sufferer na, but chalo hers pass after a day or two. He seems to be struck in it 24/7, shouting so much, so much that any minute I think he’s going to become historical. Or get a brain haemorrhoid. Honestly, itna mein uss kay liye feel karti hoon na. Young man like that. Must be having small, small children also. And jawaan wife. I think so I’ll call his producers and suggest a wonderful ilaaj the doctor subscribed to Mulloo: birth control pills. I swear they took away all her PMT systems and now tau she’s as calm as Buddha. Yes, Arnab Gosmarmy needs birth control pills. Definitely.
Aur kya? Haan, I’ve proved that global warning is happening. Bhai, for God’s sake it’s late October and we’re still sleeping with ACs on. Aur kya proof chahye? In olden days by this time in year there used to be a real nipple in the air…