This past month has been historical. Nationally, Pakistan found itself in the middle of a major security crisis as Imran Khan entered the race for Longest Standing Dispute, showing that his resentment against Nawaz Sharif could ride the Panama Leaks train for decades to come, giving the Pakistan-India dispute a run for its money. Internationally, Alec Baldwin broke all records by becoming the first human (like ever) to play a racist, sexist, and narcissist, and still be attractive (like damn!). Extraterrestrially, SpaceX introduced a plan that could save the human race from extinction, but potentially destroy the solar system in the process (like why would anyone want to save the human race anyway? Humans are so gross). In the midst of all these crises, however, the world faced a greater dilemma - one that was more personal, yet more universal, than any of the aforementioned historical developments: Should I buy the iPhone 7, and if not, should I upgrade to iOS 10?
With regards to the former half of this super important question, I just have one rule: always skip a model. So, like, if you have the iPhone 5, do yourself a favor and buy the iPhone 7 (seriously guys, tech is no place to be left behind). However, if you have the iPhone 6, just hold to it till the iPhone 8 comes out next year. I hear the iPhone 7 isn’t much different from the iPhone 6, except that it’s more annoying because you’ll probably lose your wireless headphones all the time. But hey, on the bright side, if you manage to hold on to them, working out is going to become so much easier (just think about it). Anyway, when it comes to upgrading your iOS, I basically use the same rule: skip an update and then go for it. The first version of every new iOS is always super crappy but like, wait a month, and Apple will probably fix most of the glitches. Now that 10.0.2 is out (and probably 10.0.3 by the time this gets printed), you’re good to go. Plus, iMessages are super fun with all the crazy doodle options, and I am in love with the grey and white color scheme (it looks so profesh, really).
Zara C. Churri offers her verdict
Now you can use Facebook to send temporary messages that will disappear into the stratosphere forever once the timer (you set) expires
It was a cool autumn afternoon in Lahore and, as per usual, the one percent flocked to Mall 1 for a causal afternoon of chilling. Typically, most of the one percent liked to visit the mall for coffee or salad or anything labeled ‘organic’. On this day, however, coffees went cold and salads wilted as the one percent became preoccupied with a more important task.
As I walked in through the Deli and towards the seating area, I noticed that everyone was taking selfies. In fact, hoards of people had gathered inside and outside in various well lit spots, posing in front of their iPhones and pouting in severe extremity. Could I have missed the greatest selfie competition of the year? Was Justin Bieber handing out VIP passes to the person with the best selfie ever? What could possibly be going on? As I sat down to join my friends, I realised that they, too, were lost in their phones.
“Bano”, I leaned over, addressing the one friend who probably took more selfies than I did. “Why is everyone constantly taking selfies today?”
“Oh…Snapchat just launched the butterfly princess filter. It, like, makes everyone look pretty. It works even better than that app, Beauty Plus. It’s magical!”
***
Let’s shift our focus to the gritty world of apps for a second. Um, did anyone notice how Facebook is trying to kill Snapchat? Like, Apple’s App Store has literally become that one street in Chicago where everyone kills everyone (refer to Trump’s comments in the first presidential debate for better imagery). Seriously though, between itself and Instagram, Facebook has managed to strip Snapchat of its identity. For example, could Instagram Stories be less innovative and more shameless? I mean, it’s called ‘Stories’. They could at least have bothered to come up with a cool new name. Oh, and secret messaging on Facebook? Oh yes…now you can use Facebook to send temporary messages that will disappear into the stratosphere forever once the timer (you set) expires. Snapchat is a fierce competitor though. It recently became Snap Inc. and introduced these adorable new sunglasses that can take pictures (get one if you can!). Plus, its filter game is strong AF.
As Bano tucked herself into bed that night, she felt sad. All her selfies using the butterfly princess filter were super cute. In fact, she looked mad attractive as a carrot munching angry bunny, or even as an old lady. It was her selfies without a filter that concerned her. She thought about the time when she wouldn’t need a filter to take a fabulous selfie. Now it felt like all her filterless selfies were complete bogus. “Oh,” she wondered, “how did I lose my unedited spark?” It had been just a year since she had started using filters, and now she was dependent on them forever.
