• About Us
  • The TFT Story
  • Team
  • Write for TFT
  • Online advertisement tariff
  • Donate To Us
Friday, August 12, 2022
  • Home
  • Editorials
  • News
  • Analysis
  • Features
  • Spotlight
  • Videos
  • Citizens’ Voice
  • Lifestyle
  • Editor’s Picks
  • Good Times
  • More
    • About Us
    • Team
    • Write for TFT
    • The TFT Story
    • Donate To Us
  • Home
  • Editorials
  • News
  • Analysis
  • Features
  • Spotlight
  • Videos
  • Citizens’ Voice
  • Lifestyle
  • Editor’s Picks
  • Good Times
  • More
    • About Us
    • Team
    • Write for TFT
    • The TFT Story
    • Donate To Us
No Result
View All Result
No Result
View All Result
Home TFT E-Paper Archives

Diary of a hyper nationalist

Shehzad Ghias by Shehzad Ghias
May 13, 2016 - Updated on September 21, 2021
in TFT E-Paper Archives, Features

Abdus Salam - yet another conspiracy of the evil liberal lobby in Pakistan

6
SHARES
Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

On March 29th 2016, the worst people in the country attacked the heart of Pakistan: the pseudo liberals.

They were out on social media with their rationale and logic, two things I hate the most. Who needs a brain when you have a heart that beats for Pakistan?

Our most famous national song is not Brain Brain Pakistan for a reason. Nobody is selling cola here with the slogan Brain Bola Pakola. Pakistan is a country for hearts; brains exist to add masala to them and eat them.

I bleed green. They will try to use established scientific principles to show that blood can only be red but science only applies to libtards. For a Pakistani, the only scientist that has ever existed is Abdul Qadeer Khan although the guy who made the pani par chalnay wali garee comes close.

Game of Thrones spoilers - the next stage of the struggle against  liberal-fascists of Pakistan
Game of Thrones spoilers – the next stage of the struggle against liberal-fascists of Pakistan

Abdus Salam is a liberal conspiracy theory created by people who think minorities are people too

A.Q. Khan’s family is the only kind of nuclear family we like in Pakistan. Pakistan is a joint family system and not the kind of “joint” family that liberals have when they get together.

Abdus Salam is a liberal conspiracy theory created by people who think minorities are people too. If Abdus Salam actually existed why have I not seen him in any of the little boxes on TV talk shows?

I have seen Pervez Hoodbhoy but I have not heard him so he does not count. If he is such a scientific genius why could he not just unmute his microphone using his ‘science’?

Here is some science for all these ludo-scientists out there: being a racist is scientific. The only time people do not see colour is when they tune into PTV Balochistan and that is only because they are still using cameras from the 1800s.

All Pakistanis are one - it is 'libtards' and 'seculars' who want to divide us into Muslims, Christians, etc
All Pakistanis are one – it is ‘libtards’ and ‘seculars’ who want to divide us into Muslims, Christians, etc

PTV Balochistan gets an equal amount of resources as all the other PTVs. There is no discrimination.

This is the problem with Pakistani liberals: they try to differentiate and divide us by lauding one person. There are no Christians, Muslims, Ahmadis, Pokemon, Digimon, Transformers in Pakistan; there are only Pakistanis. Pakistanis who truly believe that Abdus Salam is not a Muslim (or at least pretend to to get their passports).

These psycho babble liberals claim that Christians were attacked in Lahore. That cannot possibly be true. There are no Christians left in Lahore. I had to sweep my office myself yesterday. These liberals are Partition deniers.

If Muslims were truly taking over the world the protagonist of 50 Shades of Grey would be Muslim Grey.

And with that, it became official
And with that, it became official

Liberals simply want the Western media to pay attention to their sorry lives on Facebook by calling out to Jesus Christ and ‘Je Sui Paris’ instead of Junaid Bengali and ‘Jiye Bhutto’ but the West does not care for Pakistanis. If they did they would have painted the Eiffel Tower green, DJ Bravo would have made a rap video, Obama would have led a namaz-e-janaza at the White House and I would not have been rejected an American visa.

Libtards are trying to divide Pakistan. I will not let that happen. I could not even divide in Maths class, all I know how to do is multiply – that too because contraception is Haram.

Who says that the nuclear family is still far off in Pakistan
Who says that the nuclear family is still far off in Pakistan
Pakistani liberals become Charlie only to attract attention of the West
Pakistani liberals become Charlie only to attract attention of the West

Quaid-e-Azam said “you are free to go to your temples” but he never said you were also free to come out of them alive

These self-proclaimed wearer of jeans are nothing more than Western slaves. There are worse than the sweepers in my office with the name tag Simon. (If you are reading this Simon, please come back, the Indians were kidding when they shouted ‘Simon Go Back’ in 1928)

They are victims of inferiority complex and I am a victim of Malik Riaz Bahria Complex. Mainly because I get paid to write Facebook statuses. If my statuses get enough traction hopefully one day I will get enough money to make comics too. Nothing says ‘I love Pakistan’ and ‘I hate art’ like far-right comics in Pakistan. I blame Indus Valley School – had they not rejected a certain @Q’s application he would have had a more creative outlet for his anger. And a girlfriend.

Quaid-e-Azam said “you are free to go to your temples” but he never said you were also free to come out of them alive. Liberals never bother reading the fine text. This is why Apple legally owns all of their right kidneys as per clause 542.6 (b) of the standard iTunes agreement.

The Eiffel Tower is still not painted green - further proof of how the West is against Muslims
The Eiffel Tower is still not painted green – further proof of how the West is against Muslims

Rest assured, all these liberal fahash-ists will be defeated

Rest assured, all these liberal fahash-ists will be defeated. There will be no corner left in Pakistan for them to watch Game of Thrones. ISIS will paint spoilers over all the walls in Pakistan to hit them where it hurts the most.

This is my final warning. If libtards continue to malign Pakistan by rationally and logically trying to criticise the ills of our country so that we can collectively make an effort to improve the lives of people in our community then I will tell them that Jon Snow is a Targarayen.

Enough already: we have suffered a national tragedy. At least let us hang a few people in peace before coming out with your spiel about how all humans have rights. That is simply not true. You do not have a right kidney anymore as per the iTunes agreement ergo I win.

Also Read:

اصل گناہ

Raw Pakistani Talent At The Commonwealth Games

Customary exit by saying RAW sucks, Smackdown is the best. Thank you, You Know Who!

Tags: Satire
Previous Post

Partition and beyond

Next Post

How to be European

Shehzad Ghias

Shehzad Ghias

Next Post
On the (book)shelf

On the (book)shelf

Recent News

Pakistan Navy Saves Nine Crew Of Capsizing Indian Vessel

Pakistan Navy Saves Nine Crew Of Capsizing Indian Vessel

August 12, 2022
Attaullah Tarar, 60 Others Booked For Breaking Into PPP Leader’s House

SAPM Ataullah Tarar Seeks Stop To PTI Lahore Power Show

August 11, 2022
PTI Chairman Imran Khan Establishes Contact With US Ambassador Donald Blome

PTI Chairman Imran Khan Establishes Contact With US Ambassador Donald Blome

August 11, 2022

Twitter

Donate To Us

Subscribe
The Friday Times – Naya Daur

THE TRUTH WILL OUT


The Friday Times is Pakistan’s first independent weekly, founded in 1989. In 2021, the publication went into collaboration with digital news platform Naya Daur Media to publish under a daily cycle.


Social Media

Latest News

  • All
  • News
  • Editorials
  • Features
  • Analysis
  • Lifestyle
Pakistan Navy Saves Nine Crew Of Capsizing Indian Vessel

Pakistan Navy Saves Nine Crew Of Capsizing Indian Vessel

by News Desk
August 12, 2022
0

The Pakistan Navy has claimed to have rescued...

Attaullah Tarar, 60 Others Booked For Breaking Into PPP Leader’s House

SAPM Ataullah Tarar Seeks Stop To PTI Lahore Power Show

by News Desk
August 11, 2022
0

Special Assistant to Prime Minister (SAPM) Ataullah Tarar...

Social Feed

  • About Us
  • The TFT Story
  • Team
  • Write for TFT
  • Online advertisement tariff
  • Donate To Us

© 2022 All Rights Reserved.

No Result
View All Result
  • Home
  • Editorials
  • News
  • Analysis
  • Features
  • Spotlight
  • Videos
  • Citizens’ Voice
  • Lifestyle
  • Editor’s Picks
  • Good Times
  • More
    • About Us
    • Team
    • Write for TFT
    • The TFT Story
    • Donate To Us

© 2022 All Rights Reserved.

Welcome Back!

Login to your account below

Forgotten Password?

Retrieve your password

Please enter your username or email address to reset your password.

Log In

Add New Playlist