When I first heard about the killing of those poor kaalay log in a church in Charles Town, America, I thought hai Allah please don’t let it be one of us who’s gone and done it. But thanks God it turned out to be one of their own, aur voh bhi a blonde. Who knew that blonde people could also be terrorists? Vaisay Amreekans are saying he wasn’t a terrorist, he was just crazy. When we kill Americans we are terrorists, and when they do it, they are just crazy.
Talking of crazies, I hear that har koi has gone crazy over yoga. Apparently people all over the world have all come together to do yoga. Aur Delhi mein tau 36,000 people did it together outside their parliament, on the street only. Vaisay like in Lahore Delhi mein tau gathering thirty six thousand people for anything is child’s play. I mean even if a car crashes into a bicycle immediately 50,000 come from nowhere to watch. I think so at any one time there must be at least 36,000 Punjabi men standing around totally faaragh on the streets of Delhi and Lahore scratching themselves staring at women.
But guess who was the lead player at this yoga jam session? Dharmendra Moody, the Indian PM, whose chest at fifty six inches is bigger than Kim Kardashian’s. I asked Janoo, ‘did Moody discover yoga?’
‘No,’ he said. ‘yoga’s been around for a thousand years in India if not longer’. ‘You mean like Lata Mangeshkar?’ ‘Well, perhaps not quite as long as Lataji…’ he murmured.
I think so I’m also going to start doing yoga from now only. Suna hai, it’s good for your moods. You get all calm and soft spoken and instead of walking you just float na. And you also become so plasticky and flexible that every time you don’t want to hear some nasty gossip about yourself you can bring your ankles up to your ears and gently close them with the souls of your feet. Which leaves your hands free to give a tight to slap to the bitchy person who’s gossiping about you.
Talking of crazies, I hear that har koi has gone crazy over yoga. Apparently people all over the world have all come together to do yoga. Aur Delhi mein tau 36,000 people did it together outside their parliament, on the street only. Vaisay like in Lahore Delhi mein tau gathering thirty six thousand people for anything is child’s play. I mean even if a car crashes into a bicycle immediately 50,000 come from nowhere to watch. I think so at any one time there must be at least 36,000 Punjabi men standing around totally faaragh on the streets of Delhi and Lahore scratching themselves staring at women.
But guess who was the lead player at this yoga jam session? Dharmendra Moody, the Indian PM, whose chest at fifty six inches is bigger than Kim Kardashian’s. I asked Janoo, ‘did Moody discover yoga?’
‘No,’ he said. ‘yoga’s been around for a thousand years in India if not longer’. ‘You mean like Lata Mangeshkar?’ ‘Well, perhaps not quite as long as Lataji…’ he murmured.
I think so I’m also going to start doing yoga from now only. Suna hai, it’s good for your moods. You get all calm and soft spoken and instead of walking you just float na. And you also become so plasticky and flexible that every time you don’t want to hear some nasty gossip about yourself you can bring your ankles up to your ears and gently close them with the souls of your feet. Which leaves your hands free to give a tight to slap to the bitchy person who’s gossiping about you.