Nuggets from the Urdu press

These nuggets are culled from the Urdu press. They are summarised here without comment. Absurd or ridiculous, tft takes no responsibility for them. Illustrations by Saadia Gardezi

Nuggets from the Urdu press

Nuggets from the Urdu press


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Reported in Jang (July 29, 2014), famous cleric Samiul Haq says the Arabs should learn from the honorable (ghayyoor) Afghans. God helps the nations that believe in Jihad and sacrifice. Afghanistan’s unarmed Muslims have been able to disintegrate the Soviet Union and defeat the US.

Cops beat up two in road rage


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Reported in Express (July 29, 2014), two policemen from the Mujahid Force had a motorcycle accident with two other men. After an argument (talkh kalami), they tortured the men, ripped off their clothes, and locked them up. Traders of the area demonstrated against the police.

Over-consumption of food and liquor fills hospitals on Eid


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According to Jang (August 1, 2014), the emergency wards of public hospitals were filled with patients on Eid because of rampant over-consumption of food and liquor. But senior doctors were missing (ghayab rahay) leaving the patients at the mercy of young doctors (rehm-o-karam par chorr diya).

ATMs down on Eid 


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Nawa-e-Waqt reports (August 1, 2014) that despite instructions by the State Bank, ATMs all over the country were either out of order or out of cash during the Eid days, annoying the consumers (munh chirrati rahi). Cash was sold in the black market, for up to Rs 550 more than the actual value.

Pilot flies toddler with him in cockpit


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Reported in Dunya (August 2, 2014), a PIA pilot took his two year old son from Karachi to Manchester in the cockpit, in connivance with the administration (mili bhagat). But the automated system in Manchester denied a boarding pass for the child to get to New York, until the pilot assured to pay for his ticket.

Nargis losing interest in Hijab


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According to Express (August 2, 2014) famous actress and dancer Nargis who had announced leaving showbiz and vowed never to appear in public without Hijab, is losing interest in Hijab (dilchaspi kam honay lagi). She was seen without Hijab with model Zara Khan at her beauty salon in recent pictures. She also arrived at an Iftar party at Shalimar Theater on Bedian Road without Hijab, but left when she saw reporters. There are rumours she may come back in showbiz.

Rival PTI women appoint two officials on same post


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Reported in Dunya (August 3, 2014), two officials of the women’s wing of Tehrik-e-Insaf announced the names of two different women for the president of their Lahore chapter, revealing an internal strife. The central women’s wing president Munazza Hassan said in a press conference that Neelam Ashraf is the new president in Lahore. She did not invite the officials of their Punjab chapter. The Punjab president of PTI women’s wing Saloni Bukhari followed with an urgent press conference and announced that Zarqa Taimur was the new president in Lahore.

Angry commuters block railway track


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Reported in Jang (August 4, 2014), the engine of the Awami Express train, going from Karachi to Peshawar, failed on the way. Soon the power generator also failed (jawab day gya). It was so dark and hot that women and children began to cry (cheekh-o-pukar). When the local residents heard their cries, they brought water and torches. The passengers got off and blocked the adjacent railway track with rocks, stopping the Karachi Express. After a fist fight (hatha pai), the train staff ran away. The station master at the nearby Mohsinwal railway station called for police, who requested the passengers (minnat samajat) to unblock the track.

‘We had a son, the hospital gave us a daughter’


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According to Express (August 5, 2014) a couple and their relatives blocked the road outside Lahore General Hospital in protest, saying they had had a son at the hospital but had been given a daughter instead (beti thama dee).

Shahid Afridi refuses to change batting style 


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Reported in Dunya (August 6, 2014), cricketer Shahid Afridi has declined to change his batting style. He said Grant Flower was a great coach, but he would not change for him the batting style that has been bringing success to Pakistan.

PAT leader fools police, runs away from restroom


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Reported in Nawa-e-Waqt (August 7, 2014), a leader of Pakistan Awami Tehrik fooled the police in Gujranwala (mamu bana diya). He had been arrested from a hospital and was being taken to a police station when he said he wanted to use the restroom (rafa-e-haajat). He was taken to a restroom, from where he ran away while the police was waiting outside.

Shahbaz Sharif’s checks to injured policemen dishonored


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According to Nawa-e-Waqt (August 10, 2014), the checks given by Punjab Chief Minister Shahbaz Sharif to the policemen injured in clashes with workers of Pakistan Awami Tehrik on expected arrival of their leader Tahirul Qadri in Islamabad were dishonored.