I’ve done yet another about turn, rushing to support Altaf Hussain in his hour of need. Never mind that I went to London to take him to court. Never mind that I accused him of killing a PTI stalwart Zahra Hassan last year. Never mind that I got my trolls to flood Scotland Yard with appeals for his arrest. That’s all water under the bridge. Happily, my HHD has kicked in at just the right time. I’ve been diagnosed with Hyper Hypocritical Disorder (HHD) which is a non-treatable condition according to my Harley Street specialist, Dr Algernon Bottomless-Pitt.
The ISI has hatched a London Plan to overthrow Nawaz Sharif, uniting the nation in indifference. In this plan the bit players are the Losers from Lahore and that Cartoon from Canada while they’ve billed me for the main lead. However, when I got to London, I had an acute attack of HHD and did an about turn as usual. While the Losers and the Cartoon sat expectantly at an oval table (as opposed to a round one) in the lobby of the Dorchester, that haunt of Arabs, Russians and Euro trash, I had my own separate square table set aside. There I dined with my friends Horace Kringe-Worthie and the twins Brainella and Intelligencia Coke-Hedd. They’re keen to visit Pakistan but the British Home Office’s travel advisory cautions against it. “It’s time to give a boost to Pakistan’s tourism industry”, I said and we started thinking up a slogan like “Incredible India” for Pakistan. What about “Polygamist Pakistan” or “Preachy Pakistan” or “Praetorian Pakistan”?
I also had lunch with the old Communist Tariq Ali. He told me he still believes in Marx. “So do I” I said, “their vests and socks are the best”. While at lunch, I got a phone call from Asad Umar asking if I’d seen the budget. “I hear it’s a terrible, anti-poor budget in which the per crapita income will fall to two dollars a day”. “Err yes” he said, “but umm it’s per capita, not per crapita.”
Isn’t it wonderful that GEO is still off the air? Everyone can now breathe the toxic air more easily and swallow hook, line and sinker the garbage spewed by the other channels at the behest of the ISI.
The ISI has hatched a London Plan to overthrow Nawaz Sharif, uniting the nation in indifference. In this plan the bit players are the Losers from Lahore and that Cartoon from Canada while they’ve billed me for the main lead. However, when I got to London, I had an acute attack of HHD and did an about turn as usual. While the Losers and the Cartoon sat expectantly at an oval table (as opposed to a round one) in the lobby of the Dorchester, that haunt of Arabs, Russians and Euro trash, I had my own separate square table set aside. There I dined with my friends Horace Kringe-Worthie and the twins Brainella and Intelligencia Coke-Hedd. They’re keen to visit Pakistan but the British Home Office’s travel advisory cautions against it. “It’s time to give a boost to Pakistan’s tourism industry”, I said and we started thinking up a slogan like “Incredible India” for Pakistan. What about “Polygamist Pakistan” or “Preachy Pakistan” or “Praetorian Pakistan”?
I also had lunch with the old Communist Tariq Ali. He told me he still believes in Marx. “So do I” I said, “their vests and socks are the best”. While at lunch, I got a phone call from Asad Umar asking if I’d seen the budget. “I hear it’s a terrible, anti-poor budget in which the per crapita income will fall to two dollars a day”. “Err yes” he said, “but umm it’s per capita, not per crapita.”
Isn’t it wonderful that GEO is still off the air? Everyone can now breathe the toxic air more easily and swallow hook, line and sinker the garbage spewed by the other channels at the behest of the ISI.
Im the Dim