Irony of ironies
One famous jihadi outfit’s leading light has been in the clanger for a few years, given our neighbour’s ire over his alleged involvement in the Mumbai terrorist attacks of 2008. We hear the gent is comfortably ensconced in Adiala Jail and has been given the facility of a telephone land line. This is because, irony of ironies, terrorism suspects are not allowed mobile phones.
Top of the pops
A woman parliamentarian visited a vocational training centre, set up as a private-public partnership, in her constituency. She was amazed to discover that of all the trades being taught, the most well-attended class was that of halal butchers. She discovered that a qualification in halal butchery is top of the pops for immigration to many Western countries, on account of our diasporas being holier than the pope.
At arms length
Lest we forget, Gill on the Hill was wary of his Mil Sec and used to complain that the gent relayed instant messages to the top brass about all his doings. Our mole says The Man of Steel has the same concerns as his predecessor and is keeping his Mil Sec at arm’s length. We hear the gent is miffed about his exclusion from important meetings.
Turning turtle
A feud is simmering in the bowels of a prominent jihadi outfit and it has to do with real estate. It is said that when the jihadis buy property, they do so in the names of sympathisers who are not members. But once they become owners of property, however fortuitously, these “sympathisers” turn turtle. Thus it was that a recently propertied jihadi sympathiser’s body was found riddled with bullets on the outskirts of Lahore.
Crossing the floor
We hear that two hitherto immovable stalwarts of the Quaid-e-Qiwam’s party have crossed the floor and virtually joined Bill & Co. One left the Quaid last year amidst a blaze of publicity and decamped to Dubai; the other is ostensibly still in, except that he’s out as out can be!