SUCH GUP: NRO, The Punjab Turncoats And A Career Ruined

NRO?

The Great Leader has expressed his willingness to return to the Parliament and negotiate with the Talented Bro and his affiliates on the condition that he would not be arrested. Our mole in London says that Man of Steel rejected the idea and told his party that there won’t be a free pass. Reportedly, the Man of Steel has the support of wily Maulana and Big Ben’s Hubby as they all have their proverbial axes to grind.

Perverse dilemma

Our mole has confirmed that Chaudhry Perverse offered to switch sides provided he could continue as the chief minister of the largest province. The idea was seriously considered by the ruling parties. But Man of Steel turned down the offer and said that he had reluctantly agreed the last time after being advised by his allies. This time he was not going to budge. So, the head honcho of Punjab is now weighing his options and waiting for a signal from Pindi where the lighthouse has been out of order since Nov. 29.

All in the family

Reportedly, a deputy secretary of the Punjab government has been assigned the task to handle the requests from the Holy Family+ including the hangers on like Gogi et al. The minion is doing a great job of keeping them happy and Great Leader is being advised by Murshad to retain the government in the province. The Great Leader has also been advised to wait until Ravi Urban Development Authority project shapes up given the stakes of those close to him. They surely miss Bozo the Clown.

But the MPs from Great Leader’s party are restless and terribly unhappy at the massive diversion of funds to Gujrat and Mandi Bahauddin. (More than 100 billion rupees have been allocated for these two districts alone!). They certainly are not in agreement with the Holy Family.

A career ‘ruined’

Just before retiring the former chief Spy was found bitterly complaining to a confidante, a leader of the earlier junta that his prospects had been busted by those he had helped. The spook-in-chief complained that he did everything for the Great Leader, but the latter ruined his career leaving him high and dry.

Old Q in new bottle

Before the 2018 election, a good number of ‘electables’ – the professional swingers –were brought to the Clean Party with the intervention of former spy-in-chief. Chaudhry Perverse has been talking to the turncoats and urging them to join the Q to bolster the Kings Party. Reportedly, Chaudhry Perverse has said that if they have the right numbers they shall be the permanent power brokers in the Punjab and therefore enjoy power and perks for a long time. Most electables, however, are not too sure as they wait to assess the direction of the wind.