Dating A Pakistani Man? Don’t Ever Ignore These 10 Red Flags

When you’re in love, its easy to sweep your sweeties flaws under the Rug of Romanticism, or to encourage your savior complex and think you can ‘fix them’. But eventually the cold hard wind of reality will blow the rug away revealing the flaws for what they are: flaws. And your savior complex will run into a dead-end when you realize you can hardly fix yourself, let alone another individual. When you’re wearing rose colored glasses, red flags just look like flags. Or so the saying goes. But even without said glasses, you need to be able to spot a red flag in order to steer clear.

Save yourself the trouble and the heartache, reader. Learn from this list of uniquely Pakistani red flags and stay away from people exhibiting them. Love is difficult enough as it is, why complicate things further? Here are some red flags native to our wonderful country:

1. If they make rape jokes
   Nothing is a bigger red flag than men who trivialize sexual violence. Rape jokes are the absolute worst, and people who make such jokes are walking talking red flags. Even if you take away the aspect of them being blind to the crimes being committed against women in Pakistan on a daily basis, there’s still the fact that joking about something like this means they have zero empathy.
2. If they think Aurat March spreads ‘behayai’
   If the fact that you’re a feminist makes them tremble with fear, that’s not a good sign. If they think Aurat March spreads indecency, that’s even worse. Run as far as you can because someone who thinks you standing up for your rights is an affront to society , is not someone you want in your life.
3. They seem super proud of the fact that their culinary skills are limited to making really bad boiled eggs
   Two words: weaponized incompetence. Men have gotten away with not helping around the house by claiming not to know how to do things for far too long. If they make no efforts to learn basic life skills, and instead boast about the lack of said skills, abort mission.
4. No more Aitchisonians. Please
   Hasn’t the country suffered enough? Nearly every major politician, lawyer and diplomat once walked the hallowed halls of this literal boys club. Perhaps it’s a little telling that the foundational stone of the college’s famous Old Building was laid by the Earl of Dufferin. It’s pretty self explanatory, we think.
5. Crypto Bros
   So you’re telling me that someone who’s obsessed with basically a get-rich-quick scheme to the point of delusion is not a red flag? He probably thinks Elon Musk is a god, and likely wants a short-cut to success…among other things. Remember, there are no short cuts in life, and laziness gets you no where.
6. If they ask you out and when you say no, they say they were joking.
   We respect people who can handle criticism maturely, without taking it to heart. Ego is not your amigo, guys. Do not be tempted to give in to this immature way of handling rejection, because if he can’t even be honest about liking you, what sort of support can you even expect?
7. If they want to get married within a week of knowing you.
   Okay we get that women are amazing, but if you’re thinking of marriage a WEEK into the relationship, that’s a bit concerning. Because a week is barely enough to scratch the surface on who someone is, let alone decide that you want to spend the rest of your life with them.
8. If they get upset when you spend time by yourself
   Why does your partner need to be with you 24/7? It’s obsessive and concerning that they feel threatened and insecure when left alone for even a little bit. If your partner gets upset about you hanging out with your friends, or even alone, yeah that’s a red flag.
9. If they object to your male friends, but have plenty of female friends themselves
   “It’s different, I know how men think”. No, it’s not different, it’s hypocritical. And insulting because it implies that they don’t trust their partner, as if their partners have no agency of their own and can easily fall victim to their male friends.
10. If they think showing emotions makes them ‘weak’
    Sir, how are we going to communicate if you can’t even tell me what your fears are? Being vulnerable with your partner builds bonds and creates intimacy and brings people closer together. Besides, it’s very sexist to think emotions weaken a person. Grow up.

If there are any other red flags you can think of, feel free to leave them in the comments below to warn other people and help prevent heartbreak. Do your duty, protect women from red flag bearing men.

This article is a piece of satire.