@shabanashaukat4 recently tweeted that a prayer leader at a mosque in Kanganpur, District Kasur, announced that a mother had left a two-day-old baby girl for adoption, with a note stating that her husband had threatened her with divorce if she gave birth to a girl child.
مسجد اہلحدیث کنگن پور ضلع قصور میں قاری صاحب نے اعلان کیا کہ مسجد کے سامنے سے دو دن کی بچی ملی ہیے جس کے پاس ایک پرچی بھی پڑھی تھی جس پر لکھا تھا کہ میرے خاوند نے بولا ہے کہ اگر بچی پیدا ہوئی تو میں تمہیں طلاق دے دو گا.طلاق کے ڈر سے میں بچی کو چھوڑ کے جارہی ہوں…
The tweet froze me. People commented she should have abandoned her husband not their daughter. But could she?
Unborn daughters are offered in swara and vani (peace collateral) to settle intergenerational feuds; minor girls (13-17) are married off (4 percent under 15 years of age and 18 percent under 18 years of age) to get rid of the burden of daughter and get some financial returns from the marriage and some 8 percent of married girls aged between 15 and 19 start to bear children. Worse, children born to adolescent mothers (married under 18 years of age) have higher mortality rates and intergenerational health complications for both mother and child. The Maternal Mortality Ratio is 186/100,000 in Pakistan. About 32 percent of girls aged between 15 and 19 undergo physical violence; 31 percent face spousal violence and 53 percent justify being beaten by the husband. Most of these females are uneducated and live in rural areas of the country. So much for girls’ right to life and choice.
Girls born in our society are mostly ‘controlled object’. Their elders switch off ‘choice’, ‘consent’ and ‘rights’ buttons for them forever. No wonder, even in the 21st century, we have to keep the slogan of “women rights are human rights” on repeat.
Girls born in our society are mostly ‘controlled object’. Their elders switch off ‘choice’, ‘consent’ and ‘rights’ buttons for them forever. No wonder, even in the 21st century, we have to keep the slogan of “women rights are human rights” on repeat.
The unequal power relations between genders justify toxic masculinity to perpetuate, which is evidenced in societal narratives, institutional posturing and legal structures that discriminate against girls and women. Women are treated as properties with shared ownerships.
Her female status invites patriarchs to lecture on what’s best for her. The levers to control her virginity and honour are self-assumed. She is discriminated against at individual, family and community levels.
Take the entertainment industry that perpetuates regressive mindsets on girls and women. Pick any drama on any entertainment channel and you’ll catch a lead female character being beaten and crying. She can be conspiring and evil in roles she plays. Even accomplished female actors accept regressive and abusive roles because viewers have an enormous appetite for such themes. The serial titles suggest the same: Manhoos, Khud Gharz; Ruswai; Qayamat, Badzaat, Bebassi, Aitebaar, Badnaseeb, Ibne-hawa, etc. Ghabrana Nahi released on Eid carried the same message – Main beti ka baap hoon mera beta nahin. The first episode of Hum’s newly-released play Nehaar has already got one million views.
Entertainment industry stereotypes women not only in terms of clothing and appearance but are also sullied for being educated and working. There are hardly any dramas that portray educated, working or assertive female characters. A woman are shown as the worst enemy of another woman. Men have a license to be abusive, toxic and misogynists. These portrayals impact women’s role in the society negatively.
Our political leadership furthers this narrative on women. Imran Khan has played a lead role — in stereotyping women’s clothing and their best-time-to-be-out-of-the-house in his thoughts on gang rapes. The political violence and physical abuse against women politicians is common in online and offline spaces. Women bear socio-political cost for such marginalization. They are left with limited political and public space to function in.
Have you ever seen a drama on an infertile man or that his sperm determines the sex of the child? Have you ever heard a politician propagate that underage pregnancy is a death sentence for mother and child?
Have you ever seen a drama on an infertile man or that his sperm determines the sex of the child? Have you ever heard a politician propagate that underage pregnancy is a death sentence for mother and child? Sahil, an NGO working on child sexual abuse, reported increase in reported cases of child sexual abuse to 59 percent in 2021 as compare to 33 percent in 2018. But this curse is never made a part of any political party’s manifesto.
So, why did the mother abandon her two-day-old baby girl? Could she have abandoned her husband? But she is expected to die in her husband’s house. Some 54 percent of girls between 15 and 19 years have not been to school. They do not have means to livelihood. In such a situation, how can they quit marriage? How will they feed their children? Will the state protect them?
Now re-read @shabanashaukat4 tweet about a girl being abandoned and you will understand why the mother left her unattended. Maybe that was the only choice she had – to let go of one daughter for a roof over her head.
I want to adopt this baby girl. Although i havs children of my own.