This is the ironing of history. At one time, they were putting such conditions on me that my mind was whirling like dervish of Data Saab. For example, when I first started naming and shaming them, they bagged me to stop. The messanger said they will bring you back with honour if you just stop this naming-shaming business. I said ok, go ahead. Messanger came back and put the following tums:
- Please replace Maryam Nawaz Sharif as daughter with Dr Shireen Mazari. If you consider Dr Mazari inappropriate for post of daughter, you can please replace her with Ms. Aleema Khanum of Sewing Machine Industries (Pvt) Ltd. Please consent at earliest convenience so that we can issue transfer orders With Effect From 0700 hours at any day of choosing.
- Please replace your comrade Pervez Rashid coach of PML Tigers with Rashid Wallace US men’s basketball coach for Memphis Tigers.
- Please replace your comrade Rana Sanaullah who defeated NAB’s attempt to embroil him in 10kg cannabis haul with late Rana Sanga who was defeated at Battle of Khanwa in 1527 by Babar, first Mughal emperor.
- Please replace your black civilian supremacy ideology with white supremacist ideology which is acceptable to brass With Immediate Effect.
- Please replace Ishaq Dar Saab and his attempts to impose fiscal discipline on us with Farooq Ahmed Dar of JKLF, currently in detention in IOK for Violation of Public Safety Act (you know what that means please).
- Please do not replace Mian Shahbaz Sharif as your brother because he is irreplaceable With Immediate Effect.
- Please, we repeat, kindly replace your heir. Best transplant facilities are available at CMH, Rawalpindi, and it is guaranteed painless procedure, FoC courtesy top brass.
I said nothing doing, go fly kite. So they flew until shambolic gormint of Mraan Khan drove them mad. Now their tums have become far more reasonable:
- What are your terms, Mian Saab? Awaiting reply. Kindest regards.
NS
