Mantle of religion
As we know, The Great Khan has donned the mantle of religion and taken to lecturing the nation at every opportunity. In a recent oration, he spoke of how people throng shrines, celebrate, "smoke chars (cannabis)" and go home! Since his own life is now full of ritual and symbolic gestures, perhaps that is what he expects others to do too. We hear from reliable sources that he now goes to great lengths to follow certain practices, for instance certain invocations are writ large all over his home. There are strict dos and don'ts about when to do things, and when not to, when to go out and when not to, when to meet certain people and when not to, when to eat and when not to, when to bathe and when not to, etc.
A few nights ago, our mole says, there was a qawwali at Bunny Gala with The Great Khan presiding over a strictly all-male audience of a select few. The number was restricted to 25, no more, for its auspiciousness. We hear Rahat Fateh Ali Khan & Co were the qawwals, arranged by The Khan's best friend who, sadly, couldn't attend himself because he is suffering from dengue fever and is confined to bed in Lahore. Postscript: BF may have been able to avoid dengue if Punjab's head honcho had been The Man of Steel's Talented Bro, who during his tenure, wiped out the menace. But Takht Lahore is currently being sat upon by The Great Khan's Bozo -- and citizens know they have no hope.
Currying favour
While his minions and ministers are tripping over each other trying to assure The Great Khan of their undying loyalty, many are also making secret beelines to The Boyz, presenting their credentials as replacements for their current leader, should the need arise. There are of course the usual suspects, the Saint being the leading candidate, but according to sources close to The Boyz, he has lost his sheen of late. There is A Sad Age but his economic management, or lack thereof, has left The Boyz disenchanted, so he's off the list too. Another contender is the author of the brilliant, back-to-the-Dark-Ages Single National Curriculum, Shafto The Educated, who has been observed trying to curry favour with his contacts in Pindi. The Dark Horse is undoubtedly the descendant of Khyber-Pakhutkhwa's poet laureate -- a latter day Khattak who has apparently found acceptance with the Opposition as a caretaker premier before a new round of elections is called.
As for The Great Khan, he's ready and waiting to be given his marching orders. He's fed-up of "governance", a small matter he never had any appetite for in any case, being more interested in untrammeled power and glory, the kind that could only be delivered to him by his Spymaster. He's keen to become a political "martyr" for his "uncompromising stand on principles of accountability and merit" and get atop a container again.
Moonless night
So, that long sought after signature will finally happen -- on a moonless night, as decreed by Her Holiness, and not a day before! This saga has had everyone tearing their hair out but The Great Khan was unmoved because he is thoroughly convinced that the occult wisdom of The Shroud is what he needs in his corner, and to hell with everything else.
