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Home Features

SUCH GUP: Devil they know

TFT by TFT
September 24, 2021
in Features, Main Slider
Such Gup
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Devil they know

We hear The Great Khan has been told again and again, to change the status quo in the Land of the Five Rivers. Each time “they” do a critical appraisal, he pleads for “more time. Give me some more time”. Then, we hear, he has words with the incumbent of Takht Lahore, who looks helpless and takes recourse to that old justification, “but I’m only following orders”.

So while “they” are increasingly feeling the heat of the antipathy that is building in their heartland, especially with regard to inflation, they are well and truly stuck. When asked by a well-wisher recently of what they intended to do about the criticism that is laid at their door, a high ranker of the Praetorian Guard said, “all options are on the table”. Cynics say this is just the old time passing technique, and while The Man of Steel is alive and kicking, they will stick to the devil they know.

No consequences

A member of The Great Khan’s cabinet was bitching about our dysfunctional government when his colleague overheard and told him to be quiet or else. “Or else what?” he asked. He was told that The Khan does not take kindly to criticism from within or without and that there might be consequences. “Like what?” asked the stubborn critic. When the colleague looked at him in surprise, the critic declared he “knew too much”. And this he suggested was his protection from the consequences that might have been visited upon lesser mortals.

Damage control

When the Kiwis pulled out of the game and refused to play in Pakistan, followed by the Brits, there was a flurry of attempts at damage control. But these were so ham fisted that even the uninitiated in these matters, balked.

One glaring example was the attempt to pass on a statement to the entire home team to Tweet, singing the praises of our great and glorious security forces who had the situation under total control, and there was no danger of any terrorist attack whatsoever. AND that it was an international conspiracy (yawn) to blacken the fair name of the Land of the Pure. The team had the good sense to demur, saying one Tweet from the whole team would look really odd. Some of them, poor boys, asked their journo friends to “reword” it, in the interests of authenticity.

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The Friday Times is Pakistan’s first independent weekly, founded in 1989. In 2021, the publication went into collaboration with digital news platform Naya Daur Media to publish under a daily cycle.


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