Such bad news I’ve received kay don’t even ask. Ever since I’ve heard it na, I’ve lost my hunger, my sleep has become haraam, my BP has shot up and my spirits have sunk. Majaal hai kay I’ve slept one blink even in the last three days. And worst is kay I can’t share my worries with either Janoo or Kulchoo because they will go up the walls. So I have to suffer in silence like the saint that I am.
What’s happened? Uff, where to start? You know Janoo’s older sister Psycho? Oho baba, her real name is Saiqa but Psycho is my pet name for her. Psycho has this loser husband whose family comes from some small sa town in the back of beyond called Murid Kay where they had some lands and did some chhoti moti farming. Anyways because they’re poors, Janoo was forever helping Psycho by putting her son through college – jaisay kay we don’t have a son of our own, but khair – and clipping in with some cash whenever she changed her car every ten years or so. The only reason I allowed all this was because bechari Psycho was always very grateful, sending us mangoes ki petis and sacks of wheat and also always knowing her place. Never doing any show offing like her younger sister Cobra (uff Qubra baba) who is forever boasting about her husband’s political carrier and how much in demand they are in Isloo as a couple. Cheapsters. But poor Psycho was quiet and grateful and miti hui and she loved taking my advise and doing respect of me.
Anyways, two weeks ago I discovered that Psycho’s husband’s wheat fields are all urban now because Murid Kay has become commercial and that rich Afghans fleeing Kabul with suitcases full of American dollars have offered them millions in cash – in dollars, socho! – and that Pyscho’s family have become rich over the night. And that they’ve bought a brand new merc and a five kanal plot in Defence and Psycho has made appointment with Kamiar Rokni for full new ward rope and when I called yesterday her maid servant said in English (imagine!): ‘Begum Saab is busy, she can’t take phone just now’. Ub sleepless na hoon tau kya hoon?