Janoo is very upset these days. Not just upset but angry also. Actually he’s aag bagola. And for once it’s not at me or at our guvmunt or at the mullahs but at Israel. He watches Al Jazeera all day, all night – he says BBC and CNN and all those white type channels they are all doing purdah, you know, giving info in dribs and drabs and being all cloy about what is actually happening in Gaza because if they showed Israeli soldiers killing children and bombing hospitals like they are doing, they couldn’t say kay bhai Israel is just defending itself and its guvmunt is full of nice shareef peoples who want to live in peace only and it’s the Arabs who are bloody thirsty terrorists. So that’s why he watches Al Jay. Because they tell you saaf saaf. And they tell you what’s what. And what’s not.
‘Haw, but Janoo,’ I said, ‘why are our mullahs not protesting and holding the guvmunt to handsome to do something against Israel, haan? Why they are not swilling out on to the streets jalao-ing buses and breaking windows and looting shooting like they do when a local Christian is accused of blasphemy? Why they are silent, haan?’ ‘You may well ask,’ said Janoo, breathing out of his nose with a long shooo type of noise. ‘Obviously the powers that be don’t want to upset the Saudis’. ‘Aik tau are the powers that be same to same as the Hidden Hand? And doosra, do Saudis want to be besties with Israel?’ ‘Something like that.’
‘But Saudis are the ummah, aren’t they? In fact, they are the big bosses of our ummah, no?’ ‘The ummah only matters when it’s in their interest,’ he sighed. ‘The truth is no Muslim government other than Iran is prepared to stick its neck out for the Palestinians. Everyone has their vested interests.’
‘Janoo now you are speaking in wriggles,’ I said. ‘I’m not understanding. What do everyone’s vests have to do with it?’ Janoo looked up at the ceiling and sat there looking up at the ceiling.