My friend Pumpy, she’s had so much of bad luck kay poochho hi na. And all in one month. First, her generator sarrhoed. Then silver fishes ate her shahtoosh. Then she caught Covid, halka sa but still Covid. Then she lost her cell phone. Then someone stole her son’s Labradog. Then her best friend stole her maid. And then sub say worst, she was just getting up from the pot and flushing when suddenly her string of south sea kay pearls snapped and half the pearls went rushing into the pot and in front of her horrified eyes, bobbed around on the water for exactly two seconds before disappearing down the S bend with everything else that was already in there. She called me sobbing as soon as it happened. I asked her why she hadn’t stopped the flushing.
‘How can you stop mid-flush?’ she shrieked. ‘How?? The only thing I could have done was dive in after them!’
‘No, Pumpy,’ I said, ‘you’re not a qualified diver.’
‘Do you think I should call a plumber and have all the pipes pulled apart?’
‘No Pumpy, I think so by now your pearls are probably half way to the Ravi.’
‘Hai,’ she wailed. ‘My bad luck. It doesn’t stop. It’s been one thing after another.’
‘Haan, vaisay, Pumpy,’ I agreed. ‘You’ve been having too much of bad luck. It’s not natural.’
‘Do you think it’s nazar?’ she asked. ‘Could be,’ I said. ‘Or maybe even black magic?’ she whispered. ‘Do you have any enemies?’ ‘I have three sister in laws’. ‘Bus, Pumpy, then tau you should definitely have your house spiritually fumigated’. So yesterday Pumpy had a bakra karoed in her front garden. Then she had a khatam done in her sitting room. Then she put three copies of the Holy Quran in her bedroom and finally she called a plumber and had her toilet pipes opened up. Just in case. All he found was her missing cell phone. Which she doesn’t want to touch. After all the places it’s been and all the encounters it’s had.
‘How can you stop mid-flush?’ she shrieked. ‘How?? The only thing I could have done was dive in after them!’
‘No, Pumpy,’ I said, ‘you’re not a qualified diver.’
‘Do you think I should call a plumber and have all the pipes pulled apart?’
‘No Pumpy, I think so by now your pearls are probably half way to the Ravi.’
‘Hai,’ she wailed. ‘My bad luck. It doesn’t stop. It’s been one thing after another.’
‘Haan, vaisay, Pumpy,’ I agreed. ‘You’ve been having too much of bad luck. It’s not natural.’
‘Do you think it’s nazar?’ she asked. ‘Could be,’ I said. ‘Or maybe even black magic?’ she whispered. ‘Do you have any enemies?’ ‘I have three sister in laws’. ‘Bus, Pumpy, then tau you should definitely have your house spiritually fumigated’. So yesterday Pumpy had a bakra karoed in her front garden. Then she had a khatam done in her sitting room. Then she put three copies of the Holy Quran in her bedroom and finally she called a plumber and had her toilet pipes opened up. Just in case. All he found was her missing cell phone. Which she doesn’t want to touch. After all the places it’s been and all the encounters it’s had.