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Ittefaq Nama

TFT by TFT
January 22, 2021 - Updated on August 15, 2021
in Features
Ittefaq Nama
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“Hello. Is that Tony Blinking?”

“Yes. Who’s that?” “This is Nwaz.”

“Oh hi, Nawaz. The Clintons have told me all about you.”

“They are my Mohsins”. “Ahm sorry. They’re what?”

“Never maind. Mobarak on becoming Secretary of State. I hear you’ve renewed miltry ties with our journals”. “That’s right. D’you mind?” “What you are hoping to achieve, hain ji?” “Leverage, my dear Nawaz, leverage.”

“What that means, in real tumms, Mr Blinking.”

“Leverage will be good fer Pak Stan and it’ll be good fer peace in the region.”

“Please don’t mand my saying so but record of you Yanks isn’t great in that department”. “This is different. We’re gonna fight fer all the right things this time. Fer peace at home and abroad, fer the climate, fer democracy.”

“Please to repeat last word”. “Democracy.”

“Thanks. That’s what I’ve been waiting to hear from the US since 2014, when your favourites began to systematically dismantle our emerging democracy, our evolving free media, our increasingly independent judiciary.”

“We know all about that, Nawaz. And please don’t forget, it wasn’t just the Kerry-Lugar Bill. It was the Biden-Kerry-Lugar Bill!”

“In your mouth, ghee and sugar”. “Sorry? Say what?”

“Never maind. Just remember one thing. Mraan is our Donald Trump. They are both no brainers. Tragic what happened to you and us at last elections. You went from Hope (Obama) to Grope (Trump). We went from Cope (Me) to Dope (Mraan). I called Bill Clinton to congratulate about Democrats winning, and specially Kamala Harris, who is friend. ‘It’s time to have a woman in Oval Office’, I said to him. ‘Bin there, done that’, he said.”

What is meaning?

NS

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