Diary of a Social Butterfly

My friend BT called this morning. You know BT na? Oho baba, Billy Tahir married to TB only. Don’t know TB? Haw, on which planet you are living? TB is Tahir Butt, owner of Butt Bakery, Butt Interiors, Butt Travels, Butt Ghee, Butt Oils and Lubricants, Butt Cosmatics. They are fully loaded, but just between us, vaisay bechari BT na, she’s had a tough life with TB. Shoes, bags, jewellery and all tau he gives her. But he’s always had a wondering eye. Pehlay tau it was just affairs, but now he’s got full time second wife that he’s set up in a house in Defence. Has a son by her also. Poor BT, when she first found out about the affairs, she was young and pretty. She wanted to leave him but by that time she’d had her daughter, Pinky, and her parents told her that affairs tau come and go, but wife is for always and in any case Pinky ka socho, she has to inherit. So she shut her eyes and ears and stayed. And got hugely fat.

Anyways, BT called to say that she was in a big droma. (Her English na is a little bit paidal). ‘Really?’ I said. ‘TV droma?’ ‘No!’ She wailed. ‘Trauma! ‘Haw. Why?’ I asked. ‘Because all of my life I’ve been swallowing everything so I could marry off my ikloti beti dhoom dhaam say and now this bloody Covid has come! I’ve spent last seven years planning’. ‘BT just wait for a year,’ I said. ‘You can do it then.’

‘You think young people listen? Pinky wants it now, this minute. With Covid I’ll be lucky if 100 people come. Who will see her 20 laakh ka jora? Her do crore ka necklace? The marble pavilion I built in the garden for the shaadi? The onyx fountains? The heard of deers I imported from Sri Lanka?’

BT bechari. Itna hand hua hai na uskay saath …