Summons
Our mole says The Great Khan recently summoned the head jailer of the Land of the Five Rivers for a one-on-one meeting. The head jailer was thrilled – no premier had ever asked to see him, or any of his predecessors. What a signal honour, he told friends. His joy was not to last long, alas, when it became apparent at the meeting that The Khan had a personal agenda.
He wanted to be kept abreast of anyone and everyone who sought meetings with The Man of Steel’s Talented Bro, currently a guest of the state at Kot Lakhpat Jail, Lahore. He also wanted regular bulletins on his private WhatsApp number, preferably with photographs.
Joke of the week
Corrupt egg – Rs 7
Sadiq & Amin egg – Rs 20
Corrupt wheat – Rs 30
Sadiq & Amin wheat – Rs 90
Corrupt sugar – Rs 55
Sadiq & Amin sugar – Rs 120
Corrupt petrol – Rs 63
Sadiq & Amin petrol – Rs 104
Corrupt dollar – Rs 104
Sadiq & Amin dollar – Rs 168
Turf wars
There are turf wars galore in this menagerie of a ruling party. We have news of Madam Paradise Lover slugging it out with a rival at Takht Lahore. We have information about The Sheikh of Lal Haveli being given a frigid reception by his predecessor at the Min of Int. We know about the imports at loggerheads with A Sad Age and so on. But the latest fracas is between the ubiquitous Sheikh of Lal Haveli and the Poet’s Son. Apparently, the former began to hatch plans for a journos’ colony in the environs of Isbad. He asked the Feds to sanction such a colony forthwith, obviously to win brownie points with the media. When the Poet’s Son found out about this, he complained bitterly to The Great Khan’s office and said that The Sheikh was encroaching on his turf. Since he was Min of Inf, he protested, it lay within his domain to take credit for giving plots to journos, and not the Min of Int.
