Ittefaq Nama

Ittefaq Nama
Just now, PDM meeting was. I was told about go-betweens who are talking to generals. “What they will achieve?” I asked. “Generals are saying they will make Mraan Khan resign, if we agree to their tumms”. “How so?” I asked. Go-betweens said Generals will give him order. Please resign. If he doesn’t, they will deploy a series of disapproving looks. If he still doesn’t, they will deploy really angry looks. If he persists, they will send him email: “Dear Prime Minister, we would appreciate if you please obeyed us kindly Your Stupendous Majesty and follow orders. Best regards, General Staff, GHQ”.

On hearing this, Maulana and everyone else looked at ceiling. Except Bilawal. He said, “Inshallah, disapproving and angry looks will work and PM will resign”. I disagreed, “Look here, I am older and wiser than you. This is not going to work. You have to follow me”. Bilawal paused, then replied, “That’s fine. I’m ok with following you, Mian Sahab, provided it’s on Twitter.”

Anyways, we worked out strategy, which we will disclose later. I took break and called my friends in Tooting, an area of London where many desis live. From Namakmandi, I ordered chapli kabab and Afghani pulao. Best. Thanks God in Tooting live cctv cameras are everywhere. Every Sunday morning at 7 am, I call up my desi contact in Tooting Police, “Bhaijan, kindly check to see if Lahore Nihari House has opened”.

Sometime I also ask him (he is British-Pakistani from Gujranwala, die hard PMLN spoter) that fresh yoghurt is. He says, “Let me check about dahi”. Then I heard someone in British accent ask him (must be man sitting next to him on cctv monitoring desk) “wot’s dahi, mate?” Desi Bhaijan said, “Milk, it sleep at night and at morning become tight”.

Sadly, in short while since he came from Gujranwala, he has become too Angrez. Recently I asked him, “when Ramzan comes, will you keep fasts?” He said, “I don’t think so”. I asked, “Will you attend taraveeh prayers?” He said, “Sadly, no”. I finally asked, “Will you do iftari?” He replied, “Of course, Mian Saab. I am not complete kafir!”

NS