In case you think that my appointments in the civil services and police are hasty and ill-judged, let me tell you that I have everyone thoroughly examined by a special medical team before I give them their jobs.
Admittedly some of my appointees are women but they have no other abnormalities. We make sure to screen out people who are in bad physical or mental health. For example, this favourite police officer of mine was a wonderfully volatile and mercurial person. Just the sort I needed to sort out my opponents. However, the doctors checked him out and said that he really wasn’t up to it. I was very angry and gave them a terrifyingly dirty look, after which they muttered something about him having a low WBC. Is that like LBW, I asked? They said no, it’s a low white blood cell count which makes people vulnerable to the slightest infection.
I then asked my pet police officer if indeed he had a low WBC. He said he’d been to the Shaukat Khanum Memorial Hospital for a check up and left some of his white cells there. I immediately gave the order: “the officer has left a number of white blood cells at mum’s hospital and please go and fetch them With Immediate Effect”. And that was that.
Another favourite candidate of mine was also failed by the medical team. “What is it now?” I asked exasperatedly. They muttered something about MT & CD. “WHAT MD & CD”, I thundered. They stammered, “s-s-s-sir M-M-Moral Turpitude & Character D-d-deficiency”. “How do you know?” I shouted. Again they stammered something about receiving a phone call from a lady friend of his who complained that he was very hot in bed last night. “Did he have any fever or shaking chills?” I asked. “N-n-no sir”, they stammered again. “Well, bring him in and examine him”, I ordered, “and report to me”.
Accordingly, he was brought in, examined and x-rated. His rectal examination revealed a normal sized thyroid and his lab tests indicated heightened lover functions. “That’s great”, I said, “appointment confirmed.”
Im the Dim
Admittedly some of my appointees are women but they have no other abnormalities. We make sure to screen out people who are in bad physical or mental health. For example, this favourite police officer of mine was a wonderfully volatile and mercurial person. Just the sort I needed to sort out my opponents. However, the doctors checked him out and said that he really wasn’t up to it. I was very angry and gave them a terrifyingly dirty look, after which they muttered something about him having a low WBC. Is that like LBW, I asked? They said no, it’s a low white blood cell count which makes people vulnerable to the slightest infection.
I then asked my pet police officer if indeed he had a low WBC. He said he’d been to the Shaukat Khanum Memorial Hospital for a check up and left some of his white cells there. I immediately gave the order: “the officer has left a number of white blood cells at mum’s hospital and please go and fetch them With Immediate Effect”. And that was that.
Another favourite candidate of mine was also failed by the medical team. “What is it now?” I asked exasperatedly. They muttered something about MT & CD. “WHAT MD & CD”, I thundered. They stammered, “s-s-s-sir M-M-Moral Turpitude & Character D-d-deficiency”. “How do you know?” I shouted. Again they stammered something about receiving a phone call from a lady friend of his who complained that he was very hot in bed last night. “Did he have any fever or shaking chills?” I asked. “N-n-no sir”, they stammered again. “Well, bring him in and examine him”, I ordered, “and report to me”.
Accordingly, he was brought in, examined and x-rated. His rectal examination revealed a normal sized thyroid and his lab tests indicated heightened lover functions. “That’s great”, I said, “appointment confirmed.”
Im the Dim