I’m sorry but all this Minus One speculation is rubbish. The Boyz can’t get rid of me for the simple reason that they have no choice. So they’ve decided that they are going to have a trusted lieutenant (actually a general) shadow me all the time to prevent disaster from attaching to my person, as it is presently wont to do. This Shadow will be a constant in my life, whispering all my decisions into my ear and monitoring me morning, noon and night.
Today, at the informal meeting in my house on the hill, the Shadow was right there, seated on the chair next to me. Of course he was dressed in a white tent to camouflage his identity. Naturally, everyone thought it was You-Know-Who, except for me who knew better. Fawad Chaudhry spoke first, “My, what large boots you have!” The Shadow In The White Tent said nothing. Then Asad Umar spoke, “My, what large hands you have!” The Shadow said nothing. Then Sheikh Rashid spoke, “My, what hairy hands you have” The Shadow said nothing. Then Shafqat Mahmood spoke, “My, what bushy eyebrows you have!” The Shadow said nothing. Then Shireen Mazari spoke, “My, what a macho watch you have!” The Shadow In The White Tent jumped to his feet and glared furiously at my cabinet.
They all exclaimed in unison, “My, what a manly body you have!” The Shadow flung off the White Tent and went into a towering fury. My ministers were petrified to see the defrocked officer standing there before them in his uniform. I held my head in my hands. “I told you”, I said wearily, “you have this habit of creeping into every tent. If only you would stay in barracks, things might actually start working …” Before the officer could retort, my ministers said in unison, “Sacrilege! Take those blasphemous words back immediately! That’s EXACTLY what Nawaz Sharif and Benazir Bhutto used to say!”
Im the Dim
Today, at the informal meeting in my house on the hill, the Shadow was right there, seated on the chair next to me. Of course he was dressed in a white tent to camouflage his identity. Naturally, everyone thought it was You-Know-Who, except for me who knew better. Fawad Chaudhry spoke first, “My, what large boots you have!” The Shadow In The White Tent said nothing. Then Asad Umar spoke, “My, what large hands you have!” The Shadow said nothing. Then Sheikh Rashid spoke, “My, what hairy hands you have” The Shadow said nothing. Then Shafqat Mahmood spoke, “My, what bushy eyebrows you have!” The Shadow said nothing. Then Shireen Mazari spoke, “My, what a macho watch you have!” The Shadow In The White Tent jumped to his feet and glared furiously at my cabinet.
They all exclaimed in unison, “My, what a manly body you have!” The Shadow flung off the White Tent and went into a towering fury. My ministers were petrified to see the defrocked officer standing there before them in his uniform. I held my head in my hands. “I told you”, I said wearily, “you have this habit of creeping into every tent. If only you would stay in barracks, things might actually start working …” Before the officer could retort, my ministers said in unison, “Sacrilege! Take those blasphemous words back immediately! That’s EXACTLY what Nawaz Sharif and Benazir Bhutto used to say!”
Im the Dim