Monday
Spent most of the weekend doing a deep dive into Amazon Prime for no other reason than the fact that I was on the sofa for twelve consecutive hours and couldn’t be bothered to get the book from my bedside table. I think I was quite responsible, all things considered. New York has extended her quarantine through the end of the month so it’s obvious I have to have a rubber spatula set, a yoga mat, a microwave, an avocado peeler and tuna cans. No idea when anything is arriving since Amazon’s plague delivery times are “anytime between now and early May.” Flirt briefly with thought of buying a weighing scale but realize it is suicidal idea so order sensible things like canned tuna and a pedicure set instead.
Tuesday
OMG package from Amazon arrived already! Chest filled with universal love for all post officers and workers striving to get necessities through. Lovely people! Package pretty light, though.
Hmmm. Heart sank as opened box to find only tiny yoga mat presumably meant for children, laying on top of a state-of-the-art weighing machine. How? When? WHY? Decide to remain positive and so spread child mat and follow a Youtube yoga meditation video. Must say, am quite flexible. Will add this to my daily practice. Will also find out what “Daily Practice” entails. Feel so good and refreshed! Backpain gone and surely am only a few days away from doing yogic handstands off windowsill.
Cannot believe Americans still going gloveless and maskless as if this is 2019. WHY?
Wednesday
Cannot move. Wrists, elbows and knees all frozen in painful stasis. Googled symptoms and seems that in enthusiasm for flexibility I might have over extended all my joints. See a link for a Corona Quiz online and take it five times but only diagnosed with the Rona three times – so averaged. Think I have Corona at least twice a day these days anyway.
Weighed myself for novelty and then cried quietly into bathrobe. Drew a hot bath in my rancid bathtub to salve aching joints. Added some sea salts I found under the sink (hope it’s not bleach) and blasted some Enya. “Ah, this is the life” I say and sink into an effervescent stew. Within minutes there is an knock on my front door which quickly escalated into frenzied banging. Cursing everything I gather my towels into a sarong and stand dripping as I talk to this person through the front door. Turns out to be downstairs neighbour telling me her ceiling is leaking lavender water and asking if I was running a bath. “No!” I lied, blaming it on fictional pipes, which she seems to buy, and then ran to bathroom to drain the evidence. Never using tub again.
Thursday
Those were definitely not Bath Salts as woke up with a chemical burn on my left nipple.
Its a sunny, beautiful day. I haven’t stepped out of my apartment in five days so I get ready for a walk. My Rona Clothes – the hazmat suit I wear to go outside into the Pandemic – are crumpled in a shopping bag in the corner where I spray them with bleach every few hours for my own edification. I wear the t-shirt but struggle to wear jeans for the first time in 3 weeks. Burst into tears for eighth time this week because a) I miss pajamas, 2) only a third of my ass fits into that slim cut monstrosity and 3) that’s just how I cope OK?
Gather myself to I put on my plastic gloves, protective eye wear and medical mask. Have run out of antibacterial lotion, so stick my Hello Kitty Wipes in my back pocket and hope for the best. Air feels like life. Look up to remind me what the sky looks like but the streets are triggering. The sidewalks are not large enough to leave six feet between people and also not die from passing buses – so every so often, someone comes lethally close to me. Cannot believe Americans still going gloveless and maskless as if this is 2019. WHY?
Friday
Spent all day hate-watching Tiger King on Netflix. Not worth it. Spend the rest of the night wondering how nice it must be for white people to see something like Tiger King and not worry of it being representative of them to the world. I, meanwhile, still get anxiety attacks if I see the words Daniel Pearl in print.
Saturday
Went out to grocery store. Took an hour to get in, an hour to shop and an hour to pay. Still didn’t find any meat, or flour. Making vegetarian dishes because you can use canned food. Feeling scared. My mood is now a near-constant battle against impeding fear. Only watch news in the morning to catch up so as to avoid being addicted to steady stream of Apocalypse Today.
Sunday
Family arranged a Zoom meeting online first thing in the morning. Spent first half hour talking to my mother’s nostrils but eventually everyone figured it out. Get indescribable relief at being able to see their faces. Realized I have to make an effort to video chat because it really makes a difference. Zoom meeting gave me enough energy to clean apartment and throw garbage in trash room many floors down.
“Yeah that’s right,” other tenant said as he saw me throwing my weighing scale in the trash bin. “Ain’t no use for that now. You eat what you want y’hear?” Realize tears of joy are a real thing.
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