They are saying everywhere in London Corona is. To Prince Charles is. To Boris is. Thanks God to Queen is not. I rang up Charles to wish him get well soon.
Self: “Your Royal Highness, or should I say Howness, how you are, hain ji?”
Prince Charles: “A bit under the weather. These are testing times, ha ha.”
Self: “Thanks God lockdown is. That will save lives.”
Prince Charles: “The choice was between crashing the National Health Service or crashing the economy. We’ve chosen to crash the economy. What about you?”
Self: “Who? Me?”
Prince Charles: “I meant Pakistan. What’s happening there? Isn’t there some sort of fixed cricket match going on there with the Captain batting at no runs and not out after two years at the crease?”
Self: “Exactly, Highness, exactly! Haw well you know my country!”
Prince Charles: “Well we ruled it for two centuries didn’t we? Trouble is, we handed over to the Nehrus in India and the Neros in Pakistan.”
Self: “I am long-suffering. And totally understanding what you are saying.”
Prince Charles: “Good. It’s the elephant in the room.”
Self: “You mean Boris? And what was his herd immunity theory?”
Prince Charles; “His plan A was to promote herd immunity, telling the public that the majority would likely get it anyway, and mildly, and they’d be doing the sick a favour by licking door handles and loo seats to build up herd resistance.”
Self: “Allah save us! We must remain positive, Highness!”
Prince Charles: “Please don’t say that. I’m hoping to go from Positive to Negative in a fortnight. But yes, there are advantages. There’s no pollution, littering, drunk driving and it’s jolly nice without humans.”
Self: “Also, I think you people used to say mean things about us people coming from the old colonies and taking your jobs, especially in NHS. Naw you realise haw many of those saving your lives aren’t completely white, even behind the mask, hain ji?”
Jal tu, Jalal tu,
Ayee bala ko taal tu
NS
Self: “Your Royal Highness, or should I say Howness, how you are, hain ji?”
Prince Charles: “A bit under the weather. These are testing times, ha ha.”
Self: “Thanks God lockdown is. That will save lives.”
Prince Charles: “The choice was between crashing the National Health Service or crashing the economy. We’ve chosen to crash the economy. What about you?”
Self: “Who? Me?”
Prince Charles: “I meant Pakistan. What’s happening there? Isn’t there some sort of fixed cricket match going on there with the Captain batting at no runs and not out after two years at the crease?”
Self: “Exactly, Highness, exactly! Haw well you know my country!”
Prince Charles: “Well we ruled it for two centuries didn’t we? Trouble is, we handed over to the Nehrus in India and the Neros in Pakistan.”
Self: “I am long-suffering. And totally understanding what you are saying.”
Prince Charles: “Good. It’s the elephant in the room.”
Self: “You mean Boris? And what was his herd immunity theory?”
Prince Charles; “His plan A was to promote herd immunity, telling the public that the majority would likely get it anyway, and mildly, and they’d be doing the sick a favour by licking door handles and loo seats to build up herd resistance.”
Self: “Allah save us! We must remain positive, Highness!”
Prince Charles: “Please don’t say that. I’m hoping to go from Positive to Negative in a fortnight. But yes, there are advantages. There’s no pollution, littering, drunk driving and it’s jolly nice without humans.”
Self: “Also, I think you people used to say mean things about us people coming from the old colonies and taking your jobs, especially in NHS. Naw you realise haw many of those saving your lives aren’t completely white, even behind the mask, hain ji?”
Jal tu, Jalal tu,
Ayee bala ko taal tu
NS