I have heard that the word “SLACTED” has been remove from dictionary, hain ji. Whosoever has slacted to remove slacted is notty buoy. It has taken Britishers centuries to refine their language and put it all in Oxfode English Dictionary, and how we can remove one word just because a spoilt brat is demanding it, hain ji?
Any way, I told jailer that please go to SLACT store of Shell Patrol Pump and get me two dozen begs of crisps, ten bars of chocolate, three dozen cans of Coke …. he stopped me there and then. “Mian Saab, I have high respact far you sir, but please don’t use these two words”. SLACT & Coke.
I told him that ok, I have SLACTED not to use these words, fine? “Thank you sir, I am thankful for your SLACTION of this option … er, delete, delete, delete. I never, ever, used the word SLACTED, sir, is that clear?”
Ja oye, I said to him, and he laft my cell looking like wet cat – bheega billa.
When doctor came to see me on routine visit, I asked him which new madicines he had SLACTED for me. He also became yallow. He immediately put both tooties of his stathoscope in ears and pretended that he had not heard me. I raised my voice and asked lawdly, “Da Saab, which mads you have SLACTED for me?”
He just shooked his had and left my cell in great hurry. In his haste, he left his stathoscope in the behind. I picked it up and shotted through my cell bars, “DA SAAB, DA SAAB! Have you SLACTED to leaf your stathoscope in the behind, hain ji?”
Then poor mushakati came, the lowly prisoners who serve others. He’s lucky because he doesn’t know Oxfode English Dictionary. He asked me that what is all the fuss about one English word. I thought and thought about Urdu translation of SLACTED.
Finally, I had brilliant idea: Chuntakhib, instead of Muntakhib.