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Such Gup

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February 9, 2019
in Features
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The chop

If anyone thinks The Great Khan is going to be a good boy and do as he’s told, he has another thing coming. Take the recent NABbing of a Punjabi Khan. We hear this was not at the behest of The Boyz but an initiative of The Great Khan himself, ostensibly to even the scales, “balance” the accountability drive, as it were. If truth be told, say Isloo’s wags, striking a “balance” was not the real motivation behind the NABbing but the elimination of a potential rival. We hear The Boyz had been keen for the Punjabi Khan to be put to work, good and proper, but the boss didn’t appreciate the suggestion. The Punjabi Khan had also made the mistake of critiquing the running of the provincial government, rumour has it, in a recent meeting with his boss. Hence the chop.

CBMs

Confidence Building Measures, CBMs, are the order of the day between The Man of Steel & Co and his detractors. This is mostly at the behest of The Man’s Talented Bro, who has always had a conciliatory demeanour towards the powers that be. The sound of silence has its own rewards – we hear The Great Khan was never in favour of Talented Bro being produced in Parliament but a powerful lobby worked on the One Who Speaks and got Bro’s production orders through. The Great Khan was also not in favour of Bro becoming an accountant but the same lobby saw no harm in it, and had that done too. In fact, our mole reports that The Great Khan’s words upon hearing the accountant suggestion were “over my dead body” but it happened nonetheless. This is probably why The Khan’s nearest and dearest are constantly banging on about Talented Bro’s unsuitability for the accounts department.

New intermediaries

The new intermediaries between The Man of Steel and his opponents are no longer Al-King’s men from the Land of Sand but Mera Sultan of the Sublime Porte. We also hear that his case is being bolstered by Cutter.

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The Friday Times is Pakistan’s first independent weekly, founded in 1989. In 2021, the publication went into collaboration with digital news platform Naya Daur Media to publish under a daily cycle.


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