Such Gup

So Help us Darwin!

A lot of news and analysis is floating about to confuse us all. The most pernicious are so-called pollster predictions of the forthcoming election results that convey the impression that the game is over for the PMLN. Alien Whatsapp Groups are the most prolific. In the latest such offering, the wretched PMLN is fated to get only 57 MNA seats throughout Pakistan while the heroic PTI is slotted 116 MNA seats. That would suggest that the PTI will form a government in Islamabad and KP and maybe even in Punjab. The Aliens are also in an unforgiving mood as regards the PPP which has been allotted 27 MNA seats in all, of which 24 are in Sindh, suggesting that it may not be able to form a government in Sindh.

Before independent pundits dismiss these calculations, they might be advised to note the fact that the ANP’s election campaign has been “bombed” out, Bilalwal Bhutto has cancelled his trip to KP because of security reasons and the PMLN has been hobbled by the imprisonment of Nawaz Sharif and Mariam, its star vote-catchers. On the other hand, IK is complaining of thinning crowds at his jalsas and PMLN voters are charged like never before.

One such wishful analysis says that two old Aitchisonians Imran Khan and Chaudhry Nisar Ali Khan will be PM and CM Punjab respectively. (The PTI is choked with Aitchisonians) Another claims that JKT’s disqualification will be reversed by the SC in appeal and he will be CM Punjab via a bye-election. Plans are apparently also afoot to seize the Pakistan Cricket Board regardless of legal niceties and risk of ICC suspension because of government interference, as in the recent case of Sri Lanka. The wags say that several people, including a British national, a current MNA and an ex-chairman PCB (who was kicked out for malpractices) are all lining up for the PCB Chairman’s job. So help us, Darwin!