You saw my mammoth jalsa in Chishtiyan? What a nice! Now what “they” will do, hain ji? They have tried every tick in the book but haven’t really been able to dent my popularity. In fect, it is going up and up, like a hot hair balloon.
Mashallah, I am full of confidence and my spies are telling me that Imran is becoming jittery. And superstitious. I’ve heard that yesterday, his servant broke cut-glass vase. Instead of just cutting it from his celery, he started becoming nervous and asked Her Holiness to pray that it wasn’t a bad amen. You see when you are guilty, you are thinking everything is a bad amen. And when you have nothing to loose like me, you become brave as a loin.
In my next speech I will say, why are “they” bothering to have Elections anyway? I know they are “General Elections” (wink, wink) but what they should actually have is a Preferendum. Make people elect their preferred candidates, hain ji? From now on, you will hear two slogans resounding clearly – VOTE KO, IZZAT DO! And REFERENDUM YA PREFERENDUM?
I have also prevented all my party-wallahs from going to London. They are dying to go but is this any time? “You cannot dessert party and leader in hour of need”. They didn’t say it but on their faces was written: “what about OUR hour of need? We need to get away from this heat in Ramzan. We need to check up on our properties and offshore companies which we haven’t declared to tax authorities. We need to go to graduation of our kids. We need, we need, we need …”
God helps those who help themselves, I told my party wallahs. And you’ve been helping yourselves to the state’s resources for as long as we’ve been in power. Now, for once, do as you’re told.
It is time for iftar now, meray aziz humwatno, and there is dahi baray in crystal bowel, and a very nice sweedish, I think so it’s fruit cream, so excuse me while I do iftar.
NS
Mashallah, I am full of confidence and my spies are telling me that Imran is becoming jittery. And superstitious. I’ve heard that yesterday, his servant broke cut-glass vase. Instead of just cutting it from his celery, he started becoming nervous and asked Her Holiness to pray that it wasn’t a bad amen. You see when you are guilty, you are thinking everything is a bad amen. And when you have nothing to loose like me, you become brave as a loin.
In my next speech I will say, why are “they” bothering to have Elections anyway? I know they are “General Elections” (wink, wink) but what they should actually have is a Preferendum. Make people elect their preferred candidates, hain ji? From now on, you will hear two slogans resounding clearly – VOTE KO, IZZAT DO! And REFERENDUM YA PREFERENDUM?
I have also prevented all my party-wallahs from going to London. They are dying to go but is this any time? “You cannot dessert party and leader in hour of need”. They didn’t say it but on their faces was written: “what about OUR hour of need? We need to get away from this heat in Ramzan. We need to check up on our properties and offshore companies which we haven’t declared to tax authorities. We need to go to graduation of our kids. We need, we need, we need …”
God helps those who help themselves, I told my party wallahs. And you’ve been helping yourselves to the state’s resources for as long as we’ve been in power. Now, for once, do as you’re told.
It is time for iftar now, meray aziz humwatno, and there is dahi baray in crystal bowel, and a very nice sweedish, I think so it’s fruit cream, so excuse me while I do iftar.
NS